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Yvonne Richards Mum

  • Joined:August '08
  • Location:Manchester
  • Last Online:14 hours ago

About me

My sonshine my son Richard.
This grief is like a mountain .... it builds & builds each a every day.
I want you to try to imagine the worst thing in the world, that your beloved child died.. let me explain to you the reality…try to imagine, if you can, never seeing your child again, never hearing his laugh, never hearing the sound of their voice, never smelling the scent you have come to recognize as your child.. never hearing them say “I love you”…nothing - just silence, emptiness.. now imagine never seeing your child’s smile, never seeing him upset or happy, never watching him sleep…missing them so much that you are twisted up inside and the pain stays with you 24/7, you smell their pillow, their clothes, you look at his pictures and can only cry - what happened, why!?.. you have never felt longing like this in your life! longing to hear his voice, to see his face again,…and to know deep in your soul you cannot fix it. now imagine every single thing that used to give you joy and pleasure turns into hurt and despair overnight. not a gradual thing, but going from pleasure to hurt, from happiness to sadness, from peace to no peace, changing overnight. every thing you loved now hurts like hell…

For example: music, i used to love music, it gave me pleasure, i did’t realize how much music was a part of my life and how it is everywhere, now I cannot listen to it, it sears me like a red hot knife with the pain of losing my child, it cuts me wide open.. like the old song, the day the music died, that’s me, and believe it or not, almost every song reminds me of the void in my life without my child, i am not unique in that pain - if you lost a child you would know. .that is just one little example of how your life is affected by the loss of your child. Just ONE example! you feel the loss with every thought, every emotion, The loss bleeds into every aspect of your life. even with your other children, you still love your other children just as much as always, but as hard as it is, even they hurt you now, because when you see them you feel the LOSS, the loss of the child that died not being with their siblings. it doesn’t fit, there is a piece missing, your whole life doesn’t fit anymore. everything that felt right, now feels wrong. and of course there is always the missing, the horrible gut wrenching, out of your control missing…

As good parents we were always able to fix things or make things better for our children.. this we cannot fix, cannot make it better. so on top of everything else you are feeling, you also feel helpless..out of control and hopeless…and this is universal, every parent that truly loves their child will feel this. are you starting to imagine now how it feels? and you are doing this exercise for 10 minutes, imagine, really imagine, feeling this way 24/7 - day after day, month after month, and no matter what you are doing or who you are talking to, a tape of your child plays over and over in your mind. your child when he was a baby, a laughing happy little boy, a cute young teen, a wonderful young man or women and it always plays in your head and you do not want to forget even a single second of your beautiful child’s life…but that is a fear you have, that as time passes you will start to forget…so now, please add FEAR to the list of emotions. this is what it really feels like. a part of you has died, don’t just read the words, FEEL them - died, gone forever… a real, beautiful, living part of you has died… and you are still living, left behind to try to pick up the pieces of your shattered life and not having a clue where to even begin. No wonder a high percentage of marriages break up, parents have breakdowns, turn to alcohol, drugs or a destructive way of life. NO WONDER!!!!!

A part of you does not exist anymore and it is scary as hell.. that is why they say the loss of a child is like no other loss.. you cannot compare it to another loss, with other losses you grieve and you are of course sad, but when your child dies, a part of you ceases to exist, gone just like that, gone no warning, just gone. And the life that you knew, the things you always felt, the things in your life that made sense, that you held on to, that makes up who you are - are Gone!!!That is why when parents who have lost children hear “I want the old you back”, “it’s been a year (a month, 6 month-whatever), don’t you feel better yet?” “You are doing this to yourself, you’re making it harder on yourself”, “grief can become a selfish thing you know”, we can only shake our heads and feel sadness and hopelessness, because there is no way our lives will ever be like it was when our child was alive. No wonder bereaved parents isolate themselves, we are just trying to hold on. So were you able to imagine for 10 minutes what it must feel like? even 2 minutes is too long to imagine the unimaginable, to feel the pain, i would not wish it any anyone, but did you get a sense of how life-changing it is?

Imagine you feel this 24/7, not even getting a moments relief from it! now go on and put on your favorite CD to listen to, enjoy the music..go home and hug your child, listen to them laugh, watch her smile, smell the scent that you know is them and please do not tell me how I should feel or that i am holding onto this, or that my friends/family must be tired of watching me go through this, because if you haven’t lost a beloved child of yours, you haven’t got a clue. Now when you hear these words “the presence of his absence is everywhere”, will you finally understand?



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You're so welcome Yvonne hun. It is a pleasure to visit Richard's page and pay tribute to him.

Sending you all my love, take care, Mel. xxx

Friday afternoon

If nobody smiled and nobody cared
and nobody helped us along.
If every moment looked after itself and
good things always went to the strong;
If nobody cared just a little about you
and nobody cared about me,
and we stood alone, in the battle of life,
What a dreary old world this would be
Just because of the friends we have made
And the things which in common we share,
We want to live on, not because of ourselves
but because of the people who care.
It is doing and giving for somebody else
on which all of life’s splendour depends.
The joy of this world, when you’ve summed it all up
is found in the making of friends.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

HAVE A NICE WEEKEND

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Friday afternoon

***A FRIEND HUG***♥
☆*♥*☆*♥*☆*♥*☆*♥*☆

♥A little hug from me to you,
To make you smile
when you feel blue,
To make you happy
when your sad,
To let you know
life ain't so bad.
Now I've given a hug to you,
Somehow I feel much better too
Hugs are better when they're shared♥

Thank you for all your support
Sorry I have missed candles.

Love always to you and your Angel
Take Care
Yvonne Jack's Mum xXxXx.

Daddy's Poem
----------------------

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
And she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
Of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
A dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
Anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called
A student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
A man who wasn't there.

'Where's her daddy at?'
She heard a boy call out.
'She probably doesn't have one,'
Another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
'Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day.'

The words did not offend her,
As she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.

'My Daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's al ways with me,
Even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
He'll forever be in my heart'
With that, her little hand reached up,
And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress. And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.

'I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Brittish soldier
And died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
And taught Britians to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away.'
And then she closed her eyes,
And saw him there that day.

And to her mothers amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.

'I know you're with me Daddy,'
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed rose.


And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
By the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far.

Send this to the people you'll never forget and
Remember to send it also to the person that sent It to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them.

If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're
in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends.

Take the time...to live and love.
Until eternity. God bless!

1 week ago

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I have a little Angel She way up in the sky ,
Ive told Her to watch over you ,She replied ok But why ?
I told Her i really love you , you mean so much To me ,She said Shell take much care of you , to How your life should be ,
So when you feel the warmth at night ,Shes Letting you know Shes near ,
Shes right beside where ever you go ,
Shell wipe away all your tears
Send this on to your special friends and family You really love !
Let them know you Love them
I JUST DID !!!!!!!!!!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

love as always your friend MARGO XX

2 weeks ago
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