Welcome to the Garden of

Victoria Johnston

  • Joined:September '09
  • Location:Wallasey
  • Age:31
  • Last Online:October 4, 2012

About me

Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realise someone important is missing from all the important events in your family's life.

Normal is feeling like you know how to act and are more comfortable with a funeral than a wedding or birthday party... yet feeling a stab of pain in your heart when you smell the flowers and see the casket.

Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and
screaming, because you just don't like to sit through anything.

Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's & why didn't I's go through your head constantly.

Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head constantly.

Normal is having TV on the minute you walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is deafening.

Normal is staring at every baby who looks like he is my baby's age. And thinking of the age they would be now and not being able to imagine it. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it because it will never happen.

Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in my heart.

Normal is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday,
commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone's eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet not realising it has become part of my 'normal'.

Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your
child's memory and their birthday and survive these days. And trying to find the balloon or flag that fit's the occasion. Happy Birthday? Not really.

Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special my baby loved. Thinking how he would love it, but how he is not here to enjoy it.

Normal is having people afraid to mention my baby.
Normal is making sure others remember them.

Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.

Normal is weeks, months and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse sometimes, not better.

Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss,
unless they too have lost a child. NOTHING. Even if your child is in the
remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn't compare. Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your child is unnatural.

Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on it.

Normal is realising I do cry everyday.

Normal is disliking jokes about death or funerals, bodies being referred to as cadavers, when you know they were once someone's loved one.

Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the loss of your child.

Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat buddies who have also lost a child.

Normal is feeling a common bond with friends on the computer in other countries, but yet never having met any of them face to face.

Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.

Normal is not listening to people who make excuses for God. 'God may have done this because...' I love God, I know that my baby isn't on earth, but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why babies are taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother.

Normal is being to tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned the house, did
laundry or if there is any food.


Normal is avoiding playgrounds because of small, happy children that break your heart when you see them.

Normal is people asking why God took your child's life instead of yours and
asking if there is a God.

Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day or a million years.

And last of all, Normal is all the things that have become "normal" for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are "normal"

Victoria's GoneTooSoon Friends

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PLEASE READ!!!

♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥
It's Anthony Feci's 4th. BIRTHDAY on December 27 at Noon in Heaven's Garden and you're invited.
There will be Angel Food Cake with strawberries, Balloons, Games and lots of fun. Hope you can come.
♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥♫AJ♥

December 27, 2012

Congratuluations Hunni love and best wishes to you and your little oneToby xxxxxxx

January 14, 2011

.............нαρρу ηєω уєαя 2011

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.
••~••~••~••~••~••~••~••
My Happy New Year wish for you
Is for your best year yet,
A year where life is peaceful,
And what you want, you get.
••~••~••~••~••~••~••~••
A year in which you cherish
The past year’s memories,
And live your life each new day,
Full of bright expectancies.
••~••~••~••~••~••~••~••
I wish for you a holiday
With happiness galore;
And when it’s done, I wish you
Happy New Year, and many more.



••~By Joanna Fuchs~••

Love and best wishes to you and your's for a peacfull new year love and hugs always from Michelle and family xxxxx

December 30, 2010

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Did Anyone Ever Tell You
How Important You Make Others Feel
Somebody out here is Smiling
About Love that is so Real

Did Anyone Ever Tell You that
Many Times When They were Sad
Your E-mail (and chats) made Them Smile a bit
In Fact It made Them Glad

For the Time You Spend Sending Things
And Sharing whatever You Find
There are No Words to Thank You
But Somebody, Thinks You re Fine

Did Anyone Ever Tell You
Just How Much They Love You
Well, My Dearest Friend
Today I am Telling You

I HOPE I GET THIS BACK
I believe that without a special
friend you are missing out on a lot.

October 22, 2010

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Send this bear to someone you care about,
They care about you too,
They'll send it back to you.
So see how many people care about you!


A SIMPLE HUG


There's something in a simple hug
That always warms the heart.
It welcomes us back home
And makes it easier to part.

A hug's a way to share the joy
And sad times we go through,
Or just a way for friends to say
They like you 'cause you're you.

Hugs are meant for anyone,
For whom we really care,
From your Grandma to your neighbours,
Or a cuddly teddy bear.

A hug is an amazing thing.
It's just the perfect way
To show the love we're feeling
But can't find the words to say.

It's funny how a little hug
Makes everyone feel good
In every place and language,
It's always understood.

And hugs don't need new equipment,
Special batteries or parts
Just open up your arms
And open up your hearts.

Please keep this hug going.

,•’``’•,•’``’•:::::::::::::
’•,`’•,*,•’` ,•’I THINK
....`’•,,•’`YOU'RE
.......S.......(* " " *)
.......U....(")(='o'= )
.......P....../♥,, `♥,,(,,)..
.......E......)..........(..
.......R .....(,,,,)^(,,,,).

♥♫AC♥♫AC♥♫AC♥♫AC♥♫AC♥♫AC♥♫AC♥♫AC♥♫AC♥

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