Welcome to the Garden of

Su Cooper

  • Joined:August '08
  • Location:Belvedere
  • Age:54
  • Last Online:Friday afternoon

About me

THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE BEEN LIGHTING CANDLES FOR GARY. IT IS THE FAMILY'S WISH THAT ONLY DIRECT FAMILY LEAVE TRIBUTES FOR GARY - COULD I PLEASE ASK THAT YOU RESPECT THEIR WISH. BUT PLEASE CARRY ON LGHTING CANDLES FOR GARY - GOD BLESS. SU. XxX

Sadly, I have just lost the most precious person in my life - my best friend, my lover, my husband, my life.

Gary had kidney cancer that was diagnosed in July 2006 and he lost a very brave fight exactly two years later - 3 July 2008.

When the cancer was diagnosed it had already spread to his lungs and a tumour in the chest lymphs. Gary had his right kidney removed and once he had recovered started a course of Interferon, which did have some effect on shrinking the tumours in his lungs. He was on Interferon for about a year and then went on to Sutent, which again helped to keep him stabilised. In February 2008 he started to have problems with his lungs - he was taken into hospital where he 6 litres of fluid drained off his lung, then one week later it was back again. He was transferred to another hospital and had a pleurodesis - a procedure that sticks the lung to the chest wall - this stopped the build up of fluid. As far as Gary was concerned that was one of the most painful ops he had every had. But like everything before he bounced back, and carried on taking Sutent - without any real bad side effects.

Then in April 2008 we were informed by his consultant that the Sutent was really not stabilising the cancer any more and referred us to Guys hospital for a clinical trial. Unfortunately, after a few meetings Gary was told that he really was not well enough to start on a trial - that was so disappointing for him.

In May 2008 Gary had problems with his lungs again and was rushed into hospital with pneumonia. Again he very quickly bounced back to reasonably good health. After discussions with his consultant again we were told that the palliative care team would have to take over as there really wasn't anything else that could be done for Gary.

On Friday 13 June Gary was admitted the The Greenwich and Bexley Cottage Hospice. We never for one moment realised that he would not be coming home again. He had problems with his potassium and calcium levels - was transferred to hospital twice for treatment. Finally, his remaining kidney gave up and he had terribly swollen legs and was unable to pass urine, even with the aid of a catheter. Gary sadly passed away on 3 July 2008.

I still cannot believe he has gone - he had all his family with him, I was holding his hand as he took his last breath and a teardrop came from his eye. He really didn't want to go but I sat and reassured him that everything would be OK, the family would be safe and we would always remember and love him with all our hearts.

It's over two months ago now and I still cannot accept that he's not coming home again, he's not going to be laying beside me in bed, cooking the dinner every time I came home from work. He was such a kind, caring, jolly person. The one thing that defined Gary was his family - he lived for them and we miss him so.



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hi sue iv not forgot your Gary he was removed from my grden im sorry love always xxxx

DEAR LORD

Every single evening
As i,m lying here in bed
This tiny little prayer
Keeps running through my head
God bless all my family
Wherever they may be.
Keep them warm and safe from harm
For they,re so close to me
And God , There is one more thing
I wish that you could do :
Hope you don,t mind me asking,
Please bless my computer too.
Now i know that it,s unusual
To bless a motherboad
But listen just a second
While i explain it to you , Lord.
You see, That little metal box
Holds more than odds and ends:
Inside those small compartments
Rest so many of my Friends
I know so much about them
By the kindness that they give,
And this little scrap of metal
Takes me in to where they live.
By faith is how i know them
much the same as you
We share in what life brings us
And from that our friendships grew.
Please take an extra minute
From your duties up above
To bless those in my address book
That,s filled with so much love.
Wherever else this prayer may reach
To each and every friend,
Bless each e mail inbox
And each person who hits ' send'.
When you update your Heavenly list
On your own Great CD ROM
Bless everyone who hears this prayer
Sent up to God . com

March 24, 2009

FOR GARY

UNTILL WE MEET AGAIN.xXx

I know what you're thinking. You think I'm dead. Because you cannot see me with your human eye, cannot feel me with your hands or hold me in your arms, you think I am gone forever.
You recall how I looked when I left this place, and you cannot remotely imagine that I could possibly be alive in another place. You are racked and torn by the pain of our separation and it blinds you to that which is right in front of you... me..............
I'm here to tell you different. You were worthy of my love and undying devotion on earth as I of yours. Do you really believe this love would be snatched from us forever by a loving Creator simply because I wasn't human? Was I not a living, breathing creation with personality? How could I have been so if I didn't possess the energy of soul, spirit and loving light? And if this energy is and always will be, then how can it be that I am dead?
.................

You say that all you have left are memories. Not so. You see, when I took leave of my earthly body I left a little something behind for you. You can't touch it, hold it or examine it for what I left behind is far too uninhibited for confinement. I left behind a piece of my soul. I placed it right next to your own which is quite fitting as we were always side by side in our earthly life together. I love you too much to have left you with nothing but memories, which tend to fade and grow cloudy as the years go by.
I love you too much to have vanished without a trace. How selfish it would be of me to remove love and light from your life.
.............

I understand your tears, each one you shed is testament to your love for me and I am honored and humbled. But don't forget the good things we shared - remember and smile. This is an honor for me as well. And when you need me I will be here. Close your eyes, relax, take slow, deep breaths and picture me in your mind. Shut off the world and your notions of what death is and give me a chance. Look for the subtle signs I send you. Don't stop being proud of me, I am a husband to be proud of, I am still your husband and soul mate.
Don't memorialize the death of my body but instead honor and celebrate my never-ending life for it is eternal and forever as is my love for you.
Until we meet again...

February 28, 2009

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send this heart to everyone you care about I just did xxxxx

February 28, 2009

FOR GARY

~♥♥ Missing You♥♥ ~
*♥*
♥Our hearts will never be as they were before♥
♥you left us on that one sad day and our thoughts♥
♥will always be with you until the day we all meet♥
♥you once again in the eternal love of your presence♥
*♥*
♥You will always be cherished for your kind and loving♥
♥heart in our memories forever more and our thoughts♥
♥will always be filled with so much love for you as ♥you♥
♥were still with us today sharing all your love with ♥us.♥

♥Your gentle and kind ways have lifted us up from the♥
♥burdens of hurt as you made us laugh with your wit♥
♥on days we all have been deeply hurt and depressed♥
♥which came from a heavenly source through you.♥
*♥*
♥Your genuine love for people was a gift that I wish♥
♥we all on earth would have in us to be gentle and♥
♥kind to all humanity and your most inner beauty was♥
♥refreshing to the spirit we all carry in ourselves.♥
*♥*
♥Your an angel of love that gave light unto us all that♥
♥saw it within your beautiful soul and we cherish with♥
♥adornment your beautiful spirit that gives love unto♥
♥our hearts as you live in heavens realm today♥.
*♥*
♥You will be so very missed by us all and our hearts♥
♥will cry for eternity that we lost such a beautiful♥ ♥and
♥precious loving soul as yours was when you was here♥
♥on earth loving us as you would want us to love you.♥

February 21, 2009
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