Welcome to the Garden of

Sarah Clapson Xx Joseph'S Mummy

  • Joined:September '09
  • Location:Dover Kent
  • Age:45
  • Last Online:February 4, 2013

About me

PLEASE READ - I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR ALL MY DEAR FRIENDS WHO CONTINUE TO LIGHT CANDLES, SAY PRAYERS AND LEAVE GIFTS AND TRIBUTES FOR MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY JOSEPH. I AM FINDING THINGS REALLY HARD AT THE MOMENT AND STILL FEEL SO BROKEN HEARTED, I CANNOT FIND THE STRENGTH TO COME ON GTS. PLEASE KNOW THAT I STILL THINK OF YOU AND YOUR ANGELS OFTEN THANK YOU - SARAH XXX


I am mummy to Paige (age 15) and Joseph (age 3 months) - who is one of our baby angels. Paige and Joseph are in my profile picture - this is the day Joseph was born and Paige cared for him for me whilst I was recovering. Joseph was born 6 weeks early weighing a healthy 4 lb 8 oz. My placenta ruptured and I had an emergency c/section and was put to sleep. I didn't see Joseph (apart from a picture from the midwife) for 18 hours as he was rushed to SCBU. He was held by his daddy and his sister Paige. Joseph was born with Down Syndrome, but also had TOFS (trachea oesophegal fiscula - babies born unable to swallow) - he had other complications related to both DS and TOFS. Joseph was Joseph first, I worried about the TOFS - something I had never heard of, the DS was Joseph - one extra chromosome, nothing to get worked up about. Joseph was rushed to NICU about 80 miles away that night, and I didn't see him again until Saturday when I basically discharged myself to be with him. My brave little boy had many operations during the 3 months with us, but sadly passed away due to organ failure (Pulmonary hypertension and an enlarged heart) following 3 infections, Sepsis (long line), NEC (bowel and tummy) and the last one a bacterial infection in his long line - I love and miss him more each day. His daddy misses him so much too. He was just starting to smile - and he knew me, his devoted mummy. xx

Joseph was laid to rest on this earth in a pale blue cot with a picture of the moon and the words "I see the mooon and the moon sees me" on it. Nobody wore black by our request. We entered the church to the hymn "Away in a Manger" (which was recorded by my uncle's church choir in Wales) we had a few short poems and readings and the Reverend from Lewisham Hosptial took the service as she knew and loved Joseph. We song the hymn "All things Bright and Beautiful" - We left the church to the tune "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" - Joseph's garden is now at St Mary's Cemetary (right near his grandad - as you will see from the pictures) There were minimal flowers as we chose for donations and collected £1200 for NICU, Lewisham Hospital to buy a piece of equipment to help other babies get better. "Joe's Day" - as I chose to call it was attended by lots and lots of friends and family - one little very special boy touched so many lives in his short time with us. We all miss and Love him more each day. Sarah (mummy), Danny (daddy) Paige, Heather, Abi and Maddy (sisters), grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins. xxxxxx

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Happy Mother's Day Mummy...
I will always watch down on you..
From my lil castle above
And I will blow you kisses..
Just for you with love

Catch all my kisses Mummy..
Each and everyone
Please don't cry Dear Mummy
I am In heaven having fun

I know that you can't kiss me.
Or cuddle me up so tight
But I really love you Mummy..
With all my little might

Happy Mother's Day Mummy...
I don't need to send you a card
I always see you crying..
'Cos I know for you It's hard

But please wipe away..
Your tears Mummy
'Cos In your heart I'll stay
So catch all my floaty kisses Mummy..
On this special Mother's Day


I will always love you Mummy..
From your Beautiful lil Angel x

copyright© Jackie Thomas 10/03/2010.

Lots of love always Cora xxxx

March 14, 2010

RE: ADD YOUR POEMS PART 2 XXXXXXXXXX
❃ܓ❃ܓ❃ܓ ❃ܓ❃ܓ

Gods garden....
Is so full of love
With pretty red roses..
And a white peaceful dove

❃ܓ❃ܓ❃ܓ ❃ܓ❃ܓ

Gods garden..
Is in heaven up high..
Where our Angels..
Fly high in the sky

❃ܓ❃ܓ❃ܓ ❃ܓ❃ܓ

Gods garden..
Is a beautiful place
It's where our Angels..
Walk with grace

❃ܓ❃ܓ❃ܓ ❃ܓ❃ܓ

Gods garden..
Is so divine..
It's where our Angels are..
Yes yours and mine

❃ܓ❃ܓ❃ܓ ❃ܓ❃ܓ

copyright© Jackie Thomas 12/02/2010

February 12, 2010

THESE SHOES

I wear a pair of shoes
They are ugly shoes
Uncomfortable shoes
I hate my shoes
Each day I wear them and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step
Yet, I continue to wear them
I get funny looks wearing these shoes
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not their's
They never talk about my shoes
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt
No woman deserves to wear these shoes
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.


You are always in my thoughts, love Zoe xxx

January 19, 2010

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...❀✿.......Heart Of Flowers......❀✿
......❀✿...........For You............❀✿
.........❀✿.......My Friends!......❀✿
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.................❀✿………...❀✿
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I am here if you need to talk xxx

January 16, 2010

✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞

Remembering

Go ahead and mention my loved one,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.

Don't worry about making me cry
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.

I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending they didn't exist,
I'd rather you mention my loved one
Knowing that they have been missed.

You asked me how I was doing
I say "pretty good" or "fine"
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.

~Elizabeth Dent

✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞

January 15, 2010
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