About me
i am kaleels mummy, on valentines day 2008 something told me to take a pregnancy test, 2 lines and i was overjoyed. but from the start i knew it was to good to be true, then at 12 weeks i started to bleed, everything calmed down. my mum sadly passed away on march the 20th with a terminal illness. at 16 weeks pregnant two days after handing the keys to my mums house back over to the council my waters broke and thats when i knew something wasnt right, i was admitted to hospital and told to prepare myself for the worst because the pregnancy was going to end within 2 weeks, but my little fighter held on, at 20 weeks the doctors were amazed as 9 out of 10 pregnancys would have ended by now, but kaleel was still fighting, still losing fluid i was given the option to end the pregnancy but as long as my baby was still fighting and had a heartbeat i wasnt giving up, i mean who was i to jus take his life if there was a chance he would survive, im not god. i had to have bloods taken twice weekly incase of infection but he did me proud and kept goin. at 29 weeks pregnant i went in to hospital and had to stay in just in case, after too days i lost lots more fluid and kaleels movements and heart rate slowed down, after close observation it was decided i was to be taken to delivery suite, and was taken straight in for an emergency c section, he was born at 2.50am on the 3rd of august 2008. i was told not to panic as he might not cry but being defiant and proving everyone wrong again, he did, and finally i got to meet my the baby i longed for and kept safe for 12 weeks, then he was wisked off to nicu, doctors were amazed, and we thought he was going to make it, then 2.30am the following night i was called to his bedside. thats when i had to make the hardest decision any mother could ever make. at 1st i told the doctors i couldnt hold him whilst he passed away, but as soon as the machines were switched off at 5.30am a took him in my arms and got to hold my special little fighter. after 20 minutes of hugs and lots of kisses he fell to sleep peacefully in my arms knowing that he had all his mummys love. rest in peace my little star you are missed evey day and will always be loved and remembered. the one thing i hold close to my heart and keeps me going is that i got to meet you and spend 27 hours with you after 12 and a half weeks of fighting without fluid you gave me 27 hours back. thank you, im the proudest mummy ever. love you always xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
this song was played at your funeral and it cuts me every time i hear it kaleel but its the right song for you x x x x
fly, fly little wings
fly beyond imagining,
the sofest cloud,
the whitest dove
upon the wings of heavens love,
past the planets and the stars
leave this lonely world of ours,
escape the sorrow and the pain,
and fly again
fly fly precious one
your endless journey has begun
take your gentle happiness
far too beautiful for this
cross over to the other shore
there is peace for ever more
but hold this memory bitter sweet
until we meet
fly, fly do not fear
dont waste a breath dont shed a tear,
your heart is pure
your soul is free,
be on your way, dont wait for me,
above the universe you`ll climb
on beyond the hands of time
the moon will rise,
the sun will set
but i wont for get.
fly, fly little wings
fly where only angles sing,
fly away the time is right
go now.... find the light x x
