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hiya huni,hope u r well!! ye when i do feel like i can visit Georgias garden i would go a wee visit,its so hard tho!! Her middle name is Lilly so we would always buy a bunch of Lily flowers &put them on.Cruz likes 2 feel involved bless him by going & fillin the waterin can an feedin the flowers!! its so wet & cold over here at tis time of the year they dont keep an 2 get Cruz out a walk over is difficult because ot the wet weather. our Chruch would just be ten mins from us tho.
Were considerin moving house at the moment ,we hope 2 have a decision made by monday!!
I hope we r blessed by xmas huni,it would be so nice if we did get preg around the same time & 4 our little Angel girls 2 have a sis/bro !! im the same ,i have no preference either ,as long as baby is healthy & well !!
I again have had news that the wee girl who lives accross the road from is 9wks pregnant ,she would babysit 4 me an im like her big sister always lookin out 4 her !! shes just 18 yrs old but will be a good mummy. then i had 2 deal with the fact she was havin bad pains last nite an goin in2 hosi 2 get a check up so that was bringin my expereince of loosin Georgia all
back but i had 2 keep my chin up and be there 4 her. i dont think i ever mentioned 2 you that i had a miscarriage in nov last year,did i?? i was 6 an half wks,very early on i was hurt but i dealt with it not 2 bad an we decided from that month we were just gna try again & then i became preg in feb with Georgia!! the 2 losses r complety diff 2 me.i couldnt cope at all after i losted my little tinker bell ,the sense of loss compared 2 the misscarriage early on was soo traumatic !! In my mind it was because i had a full delivery an my baby girl was delivered with all a little baby has but 2 little 2 survive ,any time the hospital would say miscarriage 2 me i was devasted an told them ive suffered a miscarriage in november and my baby Georgia was not a miscarriage she was my baby.that mite make some people who have had an early miscariage think im this or.its awful 2 loose a pregnancy at any stage 4 any1,we know that unfortunately 2 well !!! that but i cant help this strong feelin i have between the difference of miscarriage &still birth. its all because i was under 24 wks gestional thats why they class it as miscarriage but i cant bear that word in my circumstances of havin Georgia wen she was a baby.does that make any sense 2 u hun?? il never get over the loss of my first pregnancy either but as i say when it happened we were determented 2 try again ,this time it has taken alot of time 2 think about avin another child ,as fear over took me so much & it will be there throughout furture pregnancys.
on a good note again ,may xmas will have a little blessin in store 4 us ,i asked what i was avin when i was expectin Cruz an they were right that he was a Boy .We asked on the monday what we were avin wen i was expecting Georgia and she told us that it was a little Girl,we were over the moon an it wouldnt ave been any diff if we were told a Boy as long as baby was healthy but her wee life was gone 2 soon that fri ,a day that i will never forget :( i have just that 1 little outfit in the house ,we didnt buy anything due to the circumstances of me bleedin but i had everything left by in my parents attic 4 her arrival as we thought it was mayb just gona be a situation were i would bleed mayb threw my pregnancy an she would always seem 2 be a wee fighter an not let it affect her as every time i was scaned she was like a little dancing fairy ha but then the hospital let us down by not detectin infection !! you see i also had that little bit of hope as my brothers girlfriend bled an had a healthy baby boy! in the end!
Im so sure ur next little baby will b the image of their sister Natasha!! had you any names picked for a boy when you were first told thats what yas were havin?? im sure that was a shock 4 you on top of what u were already goin threw huni,my friend who losted her wee boy in jan has not asked what sex this little one is ,shes got the same aprroach as us that as long as the future siblins we have 4 our babies r healthy thats all that matters!!
Are you on facebook at all??
I hope i wasnt rantin on 2 much huni,thxs again 4 listenin an sharin our feelins on our little girls an our pain that we bear from loosin them. all the love in the world sent ur way.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
heya darlin,i love 2 hear from u so much im so glad we have became good friends an able 2 share our feelins with each other an talk proudly of our little girls. Georgia was so like her daddys side ,none of our family could blieve how much she had every little feature just perfect being so tiny,she has her daddys mouth an big feet.i know she was just gona look like his little sister so much 2!!! its funny how u mentioned about buyin sumthing ,il tell u this and i didnt think i ever would see myself doing it .about 4wks ago i had went shopping with the girls ,i pretended that this little pink top with a wee skirt i had seen would be nice 4 either of my friends baby,i bought it an its still hangin in my wardrobe. i did go last week & buy my friend victorias little girl Ella a completely different outfit as i knew i had just wanted 2 buy that 1 4 Georgia. victorias other little girl Jessica& Cruz have birthdays 2 days apart& go 2 nurseery 2gether an again it was scarey that we became pregnant again with our baby girls , we were both admitted 2 hospital on the tues (victoria due 2 high blood pressure) i losted my precious little girl on fri an we both got out saturday. it was so weird hun!!! She just had her baby named Ella Georgia Dixon on the 6th of nov . her dad was called george but it was still so hard 4 me 2 hear wot she had called her,i took myself 2 c her yesterday wen i felt brave 2 do it,broke my heart tho.now ive my other best friend due nxt week
It would b nice if we were blessed with siblings 4 our angel babies soon,the want is there 4 me so much and as u say its never any intention in this world 2 replace our Angels!!!
awwh thats so beautiful u have a littlexxx heart beat clip.xxxx Natasha is beautiful,such a darlin baby.im sure ur next little baby will be the double of her!! I do blieve Angels never leave there always by our side, i prayed so much 4 the lord 2 give me my baby back i can actually be honest i thought i was goin mad as i do beleive he came 2 me 1 nite but he didnt bring my baby that i had been cryin 4 so painfully.i can still picture that image of me lyin in my bed an seeing tis shadow of the lord at the window bside my bed.i love her so much,my little munchkin!!!!
it took me a long time2 put the photos of Georgias hand &footprints on my phone were as her daddy did it straight away,every 1 has different times they will will feel ready 2 b able 2 do it as u say .thank you huni,thats took some of the guilt away that i am feelin not being able 2 open Georgias memory box that often :( 2 see all the little scan pictures an photos knowin its not the same as what i want (my baby girl in my arms givin her all my hugs an kisses ,warmth an love,feeds etc) i will treasure her wee memories forever an ever tho but i wanted my baby 2 treasure. thats lovely u kept all u had 4 Natasha,shes very proud of her mummy an willl be watchin over listenin 2 the day u tell her siblings all about her an i have no doubts that will be the day he/she is born throught out their lives.We always tell Cruz about his little sister tho hes 2 young 2 understand seeing the photos yet, when hes a little older we will tho. i find it hard 2 visit Georgias garden (grave) 2 ,i dont want 2 believe thats were my baby is ,she took her little Angel wings an flew 2 be an Angel with all her little friends that day and i know Georgia an Natasha r snuggled up tight being as good friends as what their mummys r 2 each other . lots of love Michelle (Georgias mummy) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You are more than welcome, and thanks for all the lovely tributes you leave for my Angel Doris x x x
hiya hunni, thx u very much 4 ur touchin message .your rite i cant let myself hit rock bottom 4 the sake of the people close2 us we must try an keep the chin up.ive been lyin in bed,i know its no good at all!!! its doing me more harm dan good an as u say it reflects on Cruz.when we had losted Georgia an i was sad all the time an grievin his behaviour changed completley ,he was hard work.ive noticed that change again as his mummy is fallin bckwards an feelin so very low.i want it all 2 b a dream ,i just yearn 4 my little baby day an nite ,why ??we didnt do a thing wrong 2 deserve 2 b robbed of our precious little ones. im xmas shoppin ,so desperatly wantin 2 b buyin pink 4 my own little girl ,dats all i want an my heart is breakin bcause im buyin it 4 every 1 elses baby .tears in my eyes &feelin so miserable an sick an tired with pain(just all emotions i cud possibly have ) in the shops just askin why cant i be doin it all for Georgia....
she was so tiny but our perfect little baby girl with all her wee features ,so much like her daddy!! ive got such a want 4 another baby at the moment , i hope it happens for us soon an we can keep supportin our little angels an continue 2 b a great support 4 each other forever .i soo wish we cud b closer 2 give each otha the biggest hugs ever!!!oooooooooooooooooo its an awful struggle every day as u say hun,like wise the pain hasnt eased at all .wel never get over loosin our babys.
Ive pulled myself out of bed an goin 2 try an stay strong as u say huni,im still goin threw the experience of not being able 2 open my baby girls memory box an im desperatly wantin 2 try an over come that 2 ,it mite sound strange 2 people that im scared 2 look at my angels pictures ,footprints ,handprints her little blanket etc the wee photo on the page i try 2 escape 2 an i know in my heart im still not wanting 2 beleive it .does that make sense huni,i love my baby an evey little feature she has but i struggle to accept these memories r all i have left.i know some people clutch 2 those little treasured photos etc an i appreciated evry different way some one has off coping with the loss of their little 1.i have so many fears lying within me due to the shock delivery of my darlin little baby girl ,sometimes i feel i need a little xtra help 2 overcome these fears an traumatic flash backs of that day my little angel grew her wings .ive never been able 2 have a heart 2 heart with any one like this before ,your such a blessing 2 ave been able 2 meet online an im sorry if ive been rantin on .i feel like a little load is lifted off my chest as ive sumone who understands exactly how i feel an givin me so much will 2 go on.our hearts die complety in this traumatic situation an we wonder how we ever get the strenght 2 go on.in a way even tho we get really tough times now and ahead it does make us stronger people.life throws very hard situations at us 4 us 2 try,why does it have 2 be like that wel never know hunni hey. its just such a big impact on our body an mind ,our hole life hey!!!.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooooooooooo
Heya hun,thxs 4 the reply.hows u??i have been feelin rotten the last while !! bad headaches,and just not well.i honestly think im just so stressed ,wantin my baby girl so much :( My friend has been puttin her cradle up for her little boys arrival in 2 the world ,an this is all tearin me in shreds!!! im buyin newborn presents for every 1 else ,its just 2 much for me ,6mths down the line,they say times a healer an i feel like explodin its just so raw 4 me still . i met my other friend(not close but we wud always chat) yesterday 2 c that she is 5mths expectin 2,u find people keep it from u till you can actually visually c a bump so they dont have 2 say. every thing is eating me up at the moment ,i wudve been strong there 4 a wee period of time ,but Bang it is hittin me like a tone of bricks an im feelin the stress so much im actually physically&emotionaly unwell. thxs 4 the website i hope 2 get a peer threw soon wen i can function a bit more with out feelin so sick.im feelin the need just 2 go 2 bed these days alot more .xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx take care hunixxx
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