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From the heart of a bereaved Mother
This is now what "normal" is
Normal
is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone
important is missing from all the important events in your familys
life
Normal
is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and
screaming, because you just don't like to sit through anything.
Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's & why didn't I's go through your head constantly.
Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head to make it go away.
Normal
is staring at every guy who looks like he is my son's age. And then
thinking of the age they would be now and not being able to imagine it
Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will
never happen
Normal
is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness
lurking close behind because of the hole in my heart.
Normal
is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday,
commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone's eyes at
how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of my
"normal".
Normal
is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your
child's memory and their birthday and survive these days. And trying to
find the balloon or flag that fit's the occasion. Happy Birthday? Not
really.
Normal
is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special
my son loved. Thinking how he would love it, but how he is not here to
enjoy it.
Normal is having some people afraid to mention my son's name.
Normal is making sure that others remember them.
Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.
Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse sometimes, not better.
Normal
is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss,
unless they too have lost a child. NOTHING. Even if your child is in
the remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn't compare.
Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is
unnatural.
Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on it.
Normal is realizing I do cry everyday.
Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the loss of your child.
Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat buddies who have also lost a child.
Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.
Normal
is not listening to people make excuses for God. "God may have done
this because..." I love God, I know that my baby is in heaven, but
hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why healthy babies were
taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense
to this grieving mother.
Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned the house, did laundry or if there is any food
Normal is asking God why he took your child's life instead of yours and asking if there even is a God.
Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day or a million years.And last of all
Normal
is hiding all the things that have become normal for you to feel so
that everyone around you will think that you are "normal"
hope your ok having a better day the days go so slow now i never thought this would happen to me i guess you never do i hope your ok and have lots of support i know its hard to read these lovely tributes i just cry so much when i come on here but i dont know anywhere else so many unfortunatly have suffered the unthinkable loss of a child xxXHUGSXxx
Lou x
"Portrait of a Friend"
I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts,
or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will
search for answers.
I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.
I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.
Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.
Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.
I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,
from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.
I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.
I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.
I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.
--Unknown
♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥
Love is like a butterfly;
It goes where it pleases
And pleases wherever it goes
♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥
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♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥
sending you my butterfly love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥ εїз ♥
Hello there Lou,just popping by to see how things are with you,how's Fizz doing,better I hope?!
Big {{{hug}}} xxxxxxx
Hi matey,really hope ur ok? Hope you don't mind,I've put meself as Lauren's close friend so as she shows up on my first page,is that ok?!
Been thinking of you hon,sending lotsa love xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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