I am missing my baby boy everyday and I always will...I will never forget the day I found out I was pregnant with my baby boy. His biological father just left to go to Virginia. It was a complicated relationship I guess. But thats besides the point. He told me that we would ge thru this and work it out some how. And I believed him. I saw him only once the whole time I was pregnant. November 2006 to be exact. I went to see him for my birthday, it was a present that I gave myself. Then when I came home thats when everything changed and I didn't even know it. I was constantly sick all the time and I thought that my immune system was weak cause I was pregnant. Well little did I or my doctors know until it was too late that that wasn't the case at all.
Februry 7, 2007 I had and OB/GYN appt. This was the first appt. to where they were going to start checkin the position of the baby and all that jazz. Well I had my youngest dughter Samantha with me a this appointment and all morning she kept telling me "Momma are we gonna see the baby today?" and I told her umm Sami no. Just hear the hearbeat no baby today. Well then she changed her mind and said "No Momma we are gonna see the baby today". And my response t her again was umm no we are not. LOL. She was so cute sitting in the doctors office with me. Well they called my name and I went t the bathroom to give them a urine sample and then they brought me to my room. Well when the nurse let the room I went to change into the johnnie gown and i went to get up on the bed and all of a sudden I thought I was peeing again. My daughter started to lauh and said momma your peeing. DO you need my diaper. I started laughing and told her n sweetie mommy is fine. I started t clean up my mess and more came out. Then I started to get wrried it wasn't pee. My water broke. I looked for the nurse and she came right in and checked me and said yup you ruptured your membranes. Well I asked her if I was ok cause I still had 5 and a 1/2 weeks left. WHy is he coming so early. Well they thought it was cause I was spiking a fever and my body wanted hm out. SO I said ok I will drive t the hospital. SO I did with my dauhter and called my mother and she got there a few minutes after I did. Well my moms birthday is Februry 8th and she kept tellin kevin while in my stomach to wait to come till tomrrw well apparently he was gonna listen to his Nana, Cause he waited to come into the world until 3:52am February 8, 2007. Well he was born healthy with APGAR scores of 8 and then 9. Was eating like a champ and everything. Well in the mean time they were tying to figure out what was wrong wth my cause I couldn't eat or even drink cause my throat hurt so bad. They did strep cultures and they came back negative. Well everything changed for me on Tuesday night February 13th when they told me that my son has to go to Boston Chidrens Hospital ause he has an intestince infection. He may need surgery but he should be alright. Well that wasn't the case at all. He left Beverly Hospital on a breathng machine and never got off of it until the day he passed away in my arms. I slept for about 3 hours that first night he was there. When I got up I went straight to the doctors and told then I want to see my son where is he. They brought me right in and the second I saw him I knew he wasn't ever coming home with me. He had swellin up bad from all the fluid (medication) going thru him. They did test after test to find out what was wrong with him. and nothing. I had him Christened. And thats all I could do for him. On the mornng of February 15th, I never thought that it was going to be the day I would say bye to my son forever. My mom stayed the night before with me. Then early that morning my Dad and stepmom and stepdad showed up.
Then the dctors pulled me into a conference room and told me that I should start making arrangments for my baby. I called my brother and soon to be sister in law I also called my best friend who was also my sons godmother. ANd then My mom asked me if I wanted Billy her and I said yes I want to call him though. Billy is my Ex Husband and the father of my daughters. I told him that if he couldn't make it then nt to wrry cause I know he had Cady and Sami and just couldn't leave them. Well he did leave them with his mother. And he got there in about 30 minutes. I never thought that I would be so happy to see him. Well we all got to hold Kevin and say our goodbyes. I didnt want to let him go but I had no choice, cause when I got to hold him again after everyone else said goodbye, he had a seizure and that was when I knew it was time. SO they took him off the hand pumped vent and let me sit in a private room until he took hs last breath.
SO I sang him his song I always sang him when he was n my stomach. You'll always be my baby by sara eveans. An to this day I can't hear it or even sing it with out losing it...Well 2 days later my ex husband adopted my son. ANd I will always be greatful to him for that.
