Jessie Geddes

i was the proud mum of four wonderful boys, my first three boys were born very close to each other and then ten years on,my fourth boy was born on 31st october 1980. he was a much longed for baby, his brothers adored him as did his dad and i. you might say he was spoiled by us all, but this never affected him in any adverse way, you could say the opposite was true, he was a kind caring loving boy who could never do enough for everyone and anyone. i had been a nurse all my working days and life was really good, and then i was forced to take early retirement due to ill health in 1992. by this time my elder three boys George Charles+Stephen were making their own way in the world and it was just me my husband and Craig. all was well until the 16th april 2002 when my worse nightmare began. Craig was at his friends home just a few doors away from ours. I awoke at 2 am and as i was getting out of bed the phone rang, it was craigs friend asking me to go up to her house, as quick as i could i did just that only to find that my son had suddenly passed away. i knew as soon as i saw him that i had lost him, but i did try and ressucitate him but i knew within my own heart i was looking for a miracle. his friend told me that one minute he said he didn't feel too good, she had left the room for a few minutes only to come back to find craig lying down, she thought he had fallen asleep, she tried to waken him but without success. it was as quick as that, one minute he was here and the next he was gone. i just couldn't understand it, for a long time i was in shock like a mechanical robot. my husband and three boys all fell apart andi had to be the strong one. when we attended the procurator fiscals office for the results of craigs post mortim, they couldn't give me any answers, craig had been sick and drowned in his own secretions, they say it only takes a teaspoonful and this can happen. The P F. said they were baffled because craig hadn't been drunk there was nothing else found in his system that would account for him being sick, and if i had any faith i had to believe it was just his time. It was very hard to accept that for no reason my beautiful boy had been taken fom us. My faith has kept me going all this time because if i didn't believe my boy was in a better place i think i would have had a breakdown. people said it would get easier, but it hasn't, i get on with my life for the sake of my boys and my grandchildren, but a part of me died with him that morning. His time of death on the certificate states he passed away at 2AM. the exact time i awoke from my sleep. i often wonder was it his presence beside me that woke me was he there to say goodbye. i don't know i only know that i still cry everyday for him and for all the what might have beens.



To all my GTS friends
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I can't thank you all enough for the kindness you have shown me and my angels, for all the candles, and the beautiful verses.
You may notice there are times when i am not in the site, this is due to my disability, I have arthritis and fibromyalgia which means it's too painful and i don't have the strength or energy to type or even sit at the pc. But whether i am on the site or not, please remember you and your angels are are always in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless you all.
Love
Jessie. xxx
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