Jane Thorpe

I was born along side my twin Sister Julie all those years ago.
We had 3 older sisters Carol, Christine & Marion.
When we reached to the age of 12 our mother sadly passed away. We were lost and my father wouldn't allow us to attend her funeral as he beleived we were too young. Our mother use to be a dinner lady at the school opposite to where we lived so all our school friends attended the funeral instead of us. Something i have always felt very bitter about.
Loosing a mother so young was hard i remember feeling so lost all the time.
As time went by i found happiness from my 3 children and when they told us Paul had died i just couldn't beleive it i knew that they had got it wrong. I'd already lost my mother god wouldn't do that to me again, but guess what?
What we wasn't prepared for then was to loose a sister only 10 week after loosing Paul, Christine then 5 months later to loose another one Marion and within a year another one Carol.
To say we have experienced grief is an under statement and i still cannot find the reasons why?
We also lost Pauls best Friend Peanut, my mother in law and in general quite a few people we knew. I constantly seemed to be at funerals.
I sometimes feel that i haven't greived for my sisters like i should of done because of the pain of loosing paul is so over whelming.
I am now trying to live my life more positively once again but it is hard.
I know have grandchildren around me and they can bring a smile to my face along with a headache!
I would like to here from anyone