Gary Lucas

I live with MS was diagnosed 20+ years ago

IT's a scary disease -my diagnosis was there's no cure, no treatment, we can't say when you'll die, it could carry getting worse. You'll die in five years. Or it could be not for 20 years.

I'm still alive after changing evertything in my life, having my "friends" thro me out of my job, my wife leave me, and during the first years both my mother dying of a series of heart attacks then my dad because all the painkillers he'd been taking to keep mum going gave him hepatitis, stomach cancer then bowel cancer.

I buried dad too soon

I never expected to bury my son.

I feel totally blank, dead inside.

Dom was born August 23rd 1987 and hanged himself October 22nd 12007, aged 20

I could NOT see the body (I wish I'd had courage to view my dad's body, it would have helped). When the police came to say Dom was found dead hanged he didn't leave a note, so his body had to be in a police morgue for a post mortem

We cremated him in November.

I don't think I've stopped crying since..

I hadn't seen or had any contact with him for a year. 2006 I was so down I didn't celebrate his borthday or mine or Christmas or anything. I picked up courage to phone him on his 20th birthday and chatted happily for an hour, then again in September for another hour.

A month later he hanged himself.