Welcome to the Garden of

Gary Matthews

  • Joined:August '08
  • Location:Feltham
  • Last Online:October 29, 2009

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Gary's GoneTooSoon Friends


Latest messages on Gary's Garden Wall

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Hey Gary just checking in on you, how are you havent spoken for a while...Sending love xx

March 25, 2009

Hey Gary, that would be really nice to talk to someone that has gone through the same pain.
It has been one month today since Jess has been gone and I feel even more lost and alone than before. I feel like my life is falling apart at the seams and am absolutely desperate and obsessed with answers! I miss Jesse so much and don't know what to do without him!
How will I ever get through this? How will I ever get past the horrible, heartbreaking pain? Not to mention the nightmares, they're horrifying and excruciating!! I haven't slept more than 4 hours a night this whole month! How did you heal? Please help me understand!

November 28, 2008

Hello, I was wondering if you would like to chat sometime. I feel as if I am in your exact situation and could really use the help.
My husband Jesse commited suicide one month ago tomorrow. We have 2 children together, a 3 yr old and a 4 1/2 yr old. We were seperated at the time of his death because of his drug addiction issues, he was addicted to crack. He also had mental health issues. He was a paranoid schizophrenic who also had psychosis. At the time he died, he had 5 voices in his head. I just feel so incredibly lost and empty. We weren't technically married, but together for 7 years. He had just proposed about 3 weeks before he died and we were planning on getting married in February of 09. I told him that I just wanted him to get healthy.
He shot himself just a month ago and now I'm just devastated and feel like no one understands. Just wanted to know if you would be interested in talking. I'm so alone.

November 28, 2008
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