Emma Burns

hi im emma xxx just lost my mum may 09 and ripped me apart i miss her so much xxxx im 24yrs old have to kids lee and morgan, my dad died wen i was 8 miss him lots xxxxx im on this nearly everyday as its my comfort of talking to mum and dad xxxx my dad died in 1993 he commited suicide and left really sad but my mum was there to help us and make us see a brighter day she used to tell us everything will be ok and try not to cry and he would b looking down on us.for many years we questioned mum on why dad left us like that she would say that he couldnt go on anymore but u have me and am always here and will never leave u xx in april 4th my mum had pains in her chest whick made her cry so much,we went to doctors to c wat it was the doctor said that mum had a chest infection and sent her home with painkillers, that night mum was in bed and the pain came back sivere she phoned us durin the night cryin,the followin day we went back to doctors and she asked for a scan. my mum had the scan and it showed a black shadow over her right lung so this is were it all began. my mum phoned me while i was at shop she sounded scared and was crying real bad she said the doctor phoned and said she had cancer ,the feeling i got was terrible i thought i was going to collapse on the pavement i ran straight up to mums to find her cryin worse i put my hands around her and grabbed her tight, few days after that mum went for more scans to find out that she had terminal cancer and thats she had a tumour in her lung and throat cancer which was spreading fast,that day we waited on mum coming back for her to tell us the bad news i could not believe it we were all shocked so much all we done was cried and cried until the day she died, the week before mum died she came to stay with me we got a drink and listened to music what we always done, i went in to kitchen and left mum in my faranda while i poured a drink,i came back out to find her cryin tellin me she is scared and how much she loved us and she dont want to die ,i grabbed her and burst out crying i felt how scared she realy was said mum i love u and im scared to. mum had her 2nd appointment for her chemo, when she went to get it the nurse had took her blood and said your blood count is low and we cant give u chemo today but im going to phone the beatson to double check, and they told the nurse to go ahead with it ,so mum had the treatment. next day after it mum was really ill had doctors in and out the doctor took her pulse and could hardly feel a beat he said to my sister that his we machine was broke , the following day mum had no voice which broke my heart in two she was lookin so ill and scared and could hardly do a thing she lay there while the nurse came in to find her pulse real low said she should have been in hospital the day before ,that daft doctor said his pulse machine was broke but it was fine my mum was that ill her pulse had almost gone,but my mum was strong for us and lasted as long as she could to spend more time with us but the following day on may 7th 2009 my mum passed away in her bed at 4pm, i thought i was going to die or seriousley collapse, me my sis and my brother lay on her bed and screamed and cried saying please mum come back dont leave us ,we were all devistated and lay until the men came to get her was the sadest moment in our lifes not only did we lose our mum we lost a best friend to. miss u mum and a will never forget u xxxxx emma xxxx