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Hi please please except my apologies for last couple weeks for not lighting your Angels candles but dont want to be a kill joy but had family probs that needed sorting out you have been in my thoughts always i cannot believe the support and love shown to me and my brother Terry on here its heartrendering to know how many of my GTS freinds care.. There is no magical portion to fix my problems so( as told numerous times over and over again) it takes time for things to heal so im hoping by next week things will be back on track ..im going in hospital on the 5th for a slight operation on my foot again but it shouldnt stop me lighting candles once im home and sorted ..... I want to take this opportunity to thank each and everyone of my friends for showing me your support ..your understanding and your love i really appreciate it more than you will ever know ...all my love hugs kisses from Tina (i truly missed you all soooo much )
God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED - To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be. Dear God: The lady reading this is beautiful, classy and strong, and I love her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote her and cause her to excel above her expectations. Help her shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love. Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs you the most, and let her know when she walks with you, She will always be safe. Now you're on the clock!!!! In 9 minutes something will make you happy. But you have to tell 9 sisters you love them, including me. Go!!!!
THINKING OF YOU! XXXXXXX
i dont do the whole facebook thing, find it way too confusing! lol but i do have msn:
werstrepejo@hotmail.com
(: and yeah. this message thing is well confusing to reply to, because you cant see the message that you're actually replying to!
XXX
i now take full responsibility of our christmas tree, only because if i left it to dad and my brother it would look like they had stood at one end of the room and just chucked the decorations at it lol
some people would probably think i had lost it if i told them i spoke to a box, but it makes me feel better. i think its just trying to hold on to what little we have left.
i wear it every single day, the amount of times i get into trouble at school for arguing with teachers when they tell me to take it off is unreal! its just because by wearing it i have the only physical thing thats left of her, constantly with me.
and yeah, just us 3 now. i think the thing i miss the most is being the only girl in the house, because its such a boy-ish atmosphere around now and like if i try and tell them something that i know mum would have been excited about, like new clothes or something - they're just not bothered, which makes it more noticable im the only girl left.
dad always tell me off for taking on mums responsibilities, but i find it hard not to. because my brother is only like 10, he still needs that womanly influence sometimes that dad cant give - so even though im only 16, i feel so much older than this sometimes because of all the other things i do now.
i remember it really used to do my head in when people used to say "oh i know how you feel" because all i ever wanted to do was scream at them! but its really nice to know that you genuinely do, and you really get what its like when this kinda thing has happened.
yeah i am still at school i leave in may time!
love Becca,
XXXXXX
I think christmas just makes it all hit home that bit harder. It just goes really fast, like almost 2 years is unreal - but she's missed out on so much. Earlier on I found a christmas card from years ago that she had written to me, i actually cried so bad. When no one else is here, ill talk to her even though I know she cant really hear me. I wear her favourite necklace everyday, and it has a lock of her hair in - which to some people might sound horrible, but it keeps her close to me. There's just so much I wish I could tell her, but I've got a lifetime of it being like this - which scares me.
Ill try and just stay happy and stuff for my brother, because he's so excited this year. I hope you have a good christmas too hun.
Its really nice to be able to talk to someone that actually understands :)
Becca XXX
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