About me
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
WELCOME TO MY GARDEN
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
I am 25 years old and have 2 beautiful baby angels, Anastasia (25-26th july 05) and Amber-Louise (14 feb 07- 7th march 07) I love and miss them eternally.
You are both always in my heart angels x x
Until we meet again Floaty kisses and wished cuddles will have to do.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ~♥x♥~Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~
One moment,
Imagine if I was given one moment,just a single slice of my past.
I could hold it close forever,and that moment would always last.
I'd put the moment in a safe,within my hearts abode.
I could open it when I wanted,and only I would know the code.
I could choose a time of laughing,a time of happiness and fun.
I could choose a time that tried me,through everything I've done.
I sat and thought about what moment,would always make me smile.
One that would always push me,to walk that extra mile.
If I'm feeling sad and low,if I'm struggling with what to do.
I can go and open my little safe,and watch my moment through.
There are moments I can think of,that would lift my spirits everytime.
The moments when you picked me up,when the road was hard to climb.
For me to only pick one moment,to cherish, save and keep,
Is proving really difficult,as I've gathered up a heap!
I've dug deep inside my heart,found the safe and looked inside,
there was room for lots of moments,in fact hundreds if I tried.
I'm building my own little library,embedded in my heart,
for all the moments spent with you,before you had to part.
I can open it up whenever I like,pick a moment and watch it through,
My little library acts as safekeep to say We will never ever forget you ♥
By unknown.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ~♥x♥~Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~
You ask me how I'm feeling,
but do you really want to know?
The moment I try telling you
You say you have to go
You ask me how I'm holding up,
but do you really care?
The second I try to speak my heart,
You start squirming in your chair.
Because I am so lonely,
you see, no one comes around,
I'll take the words I want to say
And quietly choke them down.
Everyone avoids me now,
Because they don't know what to say
They tell me I'll be there for you,
then turn and walk away.
Call me if you need me,
that's what everybody said,
But how can I call you and scream
into the phone,
My God, my children are dead?
I am tired of pretending
as my heart pounds in my chest,
I say things to make you comfortable,
but my soul finds no rest.
How can I tell you things
that are too sad to be told,
of the helplessness of holding your children
who in your arms grows cold?
Maybe you can tell me,
How should one behave,
who's had to follow their childrens casket,
watched it perched above a grave?
You cannot imagine
what it was like for me that day
to place a final kiss upon that box,
and have to turn and walk away.
If you really love me,
and I believe you do,
if you really want to help me,
here is what I need from you.
Sit down beside me,
reach out and take my hand,
Say "My friend, I've come to listen,
I want to understand."
Just hold my hand and listen
that's all you need to do,
And if by chance I shed a tear,
it's alright if you do to.
author unknown
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ~♥x♥~Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~
A Bereaved Parent's Wish List
1. I wish my children hadn't died. I wish I had them back
2. I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my children`s name`s. My children was here and was very important
to me. I need to hear that they was important to you as well.
3. If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my children, I wish you knew that it isn't because
you have hurt me. My children`s death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my children and you
have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both.
4. I wish you wouldn't "kill" my children again by removing there pictures, artwork, or other
remembrances from your home.
5. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me. I need you
more than ever.
6. I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you; but I also want you to hear about me. I
might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my children my favorite topic of
the day.
7. I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my children`s death pains you,
too. I wish you would let me know things through a phone call, a card or a note, or a real big hug.
8. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in six months. These first months are traumatic
for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of
my children until the day I die.
9. I am working very hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully
recover. I will always miss my children, and I will always grieve that there dead.
10. I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or to "be happy". Neither will happen
for a very long time so don't frustrate yourself.
11. I don't want to have a "pity party," but I do wish you would let me grieve. I must hurt before
I can heal.
12. I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around
me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you.
13. When I say, "I'm doing okay," I wish you could understand that I don't feel okay and that I
struggle daily.
14. I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very normal. Depression, anger,
hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and
withdrawn or irritable and cranky.
15. Your advice to "take one day at a time" is excellent. I wish you could understand that I'm
doing good to handle him at an hour at a time.
16. I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my children died, a big part of me died
with them. I am not the same person I was before my children died, and I will never be that person
again.
17. I wish very much that you could understand - understand my loss and my grief, my silence and
my tears, my void and my pain. But I pray daily that you will never understand.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ~♥x♥~Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~
This is now by Unknown
Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your family's life.
Normal for me is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Birthdays Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, March 7th, 25th July and the 26th July. .
Normal is feeling like you know how to act and are more comfortable with a funeral than a wedding or birthday party...yet feeling a stab of pain in your heart when you smell the flowers and see the casket.
Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming, because you just don't like to sit through anything.
Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's & why didn't I's go through your head constantly.
Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head to make it go away.
Normal is having the TV on the minute I walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is deafening.
Normal is staring at every child who looks like she is my child's age. And then thinking of the age she would be now and not being able to imagine it. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will never happen.
Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in my heart.
Normal is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone's eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of my "normal".
Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child's memory and her birthday and survive these days. And trying to find the balloon or flag that fit's the occasion. Happy Birthday? Not really.
Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special my child loved.Thinking how she would love it, but how she is not here to enjoy it.
Normal is having some people afraid to mention my children.
Normal is making sure that others remember her
Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.
Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse sometimes, not better.
Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. NOTHING. Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn't compare. Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.
Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on it.
Normal is realizing I do cry everyday.
Normal is disliking jokes about death or funerals, bodies being referred to as cadavers, when you know they were once someone's loved one.
Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the loss of your child.
Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat buddies who have also lost a child.
Normal is feeling a common bond with friends on the computer in England, Australia, Canada, the Netherlands and all over the USA, but yet never having met any of them face to face.
Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.
Normal is not listening to people make excuses for God. "God may have done this because..." I love God, I know that my child is in heaven, but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why such young children were taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother.
Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned the house, did laundry or if there is any food.
Normal is avoiding McDonald's and Burger King, playgrounds and relatives childrens parties because of small, happy children that break your heart when you see them.
Normal is asking God why he took your child's life instead of yours and asking if there even is a God.
Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day or a million years.
And last of all, Normal is hiding all the things that have become "normal" for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are "normal".
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ~♥x♥~Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~
