on friday the 15th of may i woke up which was the day after my birthday, to find my darling german sheperd Tyson poorly, in march this yr he had a tumour removed along with his spleen, he pulled through from this until that horrible day(15th may)i took him straight to the vet who told me his time had come, omg i died inside to hear those words, i stood with him while there put him to rest, the worse day of my life. I feel so guilty of doing this, and hate my self also. i know in my heart that he his no longer suffering but this pain i have in my heart is ripping me apart.I had him for lots of happy years, he was so gentle but he did protect all the family,i keep seeing his face of when he last closed his eyes, but i,ll also never forget this little sigh of relieve, has tho he was saying goodbye.i never will get over this. xxx
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RE: i hate my self right now..
as a dog lover myself and have a beautiful bull mastiff i dread the day she will go to doggy heaven, because she is my baby part of the family, i am so sorry for your loss but know tyson is happy now and all healthy x
RE: i hate my self right now..
aw diane i was the same a few years ago my dog sheba wasent well she was a good age and had atheritise i spent a fortune on her on medication from my vet but it only lasted a we while in the end she had alot of water coming from her she couldent walk i got my friend to take her to the vet in her car as icouldent go with her as i knew she was getting put to sleep as i had the vet in the house that morning and i wouldent let him take her or do it in the house as he told me there was nothing he could do for her i still sit and think about sheba and wish that she was here with me i miss her so much hope you feel better soon xxxxxx christine xxxxx
RE: i hate my self right now..
Aww Diane, I have a rescue dog and he is almost 15 now had a few problems with his heart and this and that, I dread the day when its his turn to leave as he is like my shadow follows me everywhere but Tyson is free from pain now and please dont hate yourself because you have done the very best for him and gave him a happy life with love and care x
RE: i hate my self right now..
Hi Diane
I had to make the same heart wrenching choice on the 12th May ( Last week )
I am a staff nurse and making this choice went against everything I stand for - promoting heath & healing.But having laid down on the floor at home all night being unable to help My Diesel recover I felt helpless.
Diesel was a very big dog and had been fine the day before running and playing with his brother Griffin but then he just went down on his side he couldn't get up he wouldn't eat or drink all in 12 hrs his eyes seemed distant,even the vet couldn't really say what was wrong.
He went to sleep with his whole family around him at home were he had fallen in the lounge, it was very peaceful & dignified and if I could chose how to go I would go the same way.
The hardest part was making the choice and I still like you feel torn apart by it I keep asking myself
" What If " But the main thing is he didn't suffer.
Hope you manage to find some peace & please know that you are not alone in these feelings
Dee Singleton
RE: i hate my self right now..
i had to put my cat poppy 2 sleep on monday (1ST JUNE) and i am now mixed up with so much guilt 2...in my heart oh hearts i know i made to rite choice and poppy was ready to go...but i keep seeing her eyes just after the injection and even tho it was just a split second...it is haunting me,did i do the rite thing...if poppy could have spoke would she have said im alrite do it....that split second she looked scared as if she knew,this is it...truth be told...she wouldnt have time to think,i just feel guilty which is normal...when coping with greive...it will get easier and i know eventually in time i will feel so much happier that i did things the way i did...becoz she did go peacefully and she was ready xx
RE: i hate my self right now..
Please don't hate yourself. You had no choice. Would you rather he suffered and was in more pain? It was the most humane thing to do. Please know that I am not hardened by any means. My 3 year old beautiful maltese went for a teeth cleaning and died. He was not sick, he was not in pain. An inept veterinarian did that to my beloved friend and companion. He didn't have a chance to live. So you see our loved ones of all ages and breeds are taken from us. I pray about this daily because it happened on March 13, 2009. Please find some peace. I will remember you in my prayers.
RE: i hate my self right now..
Please don't hate yourself ! You loved your dog very much and the feelings were reciprocal. The vet. seemed to know your friend was gravely ill and could not withstand much more pain. You were helping your friend and the deep sigh was a thank you. You will see your pet in the here after.
RE: i hate my self right now..
Feeling like this and feeling guilty is part of the grieving process. Your dog would be happy for a pain-free end? (Wouldn't you?).
Tyson had a happy life with loving owners. What more could he ask for?
This feeling will ease with time!
RIP Tyson xxx
RE: i hate my self right now..
Hi Diane
I had to make the same decision myself only 4 days ago. My beautiful dog cassie was 15 yrs old and i knew the time had come to release her from her pain and suffering. It was the worst decision i have ever had to make. You have nothing to feel guilty about unlike me. I couldnt even bring myself to be with her in those last moments. My husband had to be there instead. I will never forgive myself that i didnt give her those last few precious moments when she needed me most. The pain of being without her is unbearable and I wish i could turn back the clock and hold her in my arms as she closed her eyes for the last time, secure in the knowledge that her mummy loved her xxxx
RE: i hate my self right now..
You will feel better.You did all you could for Tyson & were there for him right til the end.
We had to get our Charlie put to sleep after having an op to remove a tumour,it went well but cancer came back.It was the worst day of my life,walking him into the vets,knowing it would be the last time i'd see him.My guilty feelings are just starting to lift,i know now that we did all we could for him,i will always love & miss him dearly.
Take care xx
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