It is approaching 6 months soon that i made the hardest decision i have ever made and that i now believe to be the wrong choice!
The guilt of putting to sleep my young girl of just 13 months haunts me every single day, she was my world and i just cant believe i chose not to try surgery...at the time i know i thought it was right or i would never of done it but the next day i knew i had made the biggest mistake of my life and have not coped at all since.
My girl was born with major spinal deformities and we were told an operation MAY help but that there was no guarantee's and that she had a second problem that may cause her major problems even if we were to fix the first and that was a big if, the op was very major spinal surgery and very painful and long recovery, i just couldnt put her through all that and then have it all fail, leaving her painful and paralised and wondering why i did that to her. She went down hill suddenly and after 6 days i couldnt watch her unable to walk any longer and so called the vet to my home where i held her in my arms while we let her go to sleep.
Abbey i am so sorry my darling i now think you would have beaten all the odds and proved everyone wrong and so i have robbed you of so many happy years with us. I loved you like my child and i cry every day still. i wish i could turn back time.
How do i cope with the guilt of killing my young pup, not even trying...how can that be right???
|
|
RE: dealing with guilt
how can u think u killed her,she must of been sufferin wiv her problems and like u said IF she got through the 1st op she might of got worse,then had a life of ops , the vet wouldnt of put her to sleep if he thought she could of ended up havin a happy life,u did wot was right x
RE: dealing with guilt
You did,nt kill her honey it was the kindest thing you could have done,there would have been no quality of life for her but now she is a free spirit running around in Gods garden free from pain she will know you loved her and thanking you for setting her free my heart goes out to you Mandy,take care x Linda x
RE: dealing with guilt
I think there is always a huge feeling of guilt when one of our babies has to be put to sleep. I knew that the end was coming for my darling Bearded Collie Chloe but it still didnt help the guilt that I felt at having to make that final decision for her. Ultimately she was in a lot of pain and with hindsight, had been for a few weeks before she died. She was 14 years old and during the summer of 2006 she began panting very heavily. Because the weather was so dreadfully hot at that particular time and she was eating, drinking and going for her walks normally, I put it down to the heat. When it eventually twigged that she was in a lot of pain I took her to my vet who couldnt find anything wrong with her except for a phantom pregnancy. I was so keen to belive my vet that I took her at her word and went home reassured. I still had that nagging doubt though and 2 days later Chloe collapsed while I was out walking her and I knew that the end was here. I stayed with her while she was put to sleep and I was the last person that she ever saw. I had her privately cremated and still have her ashes 2 and a half years later. I cant bear to scatter them and have them in my living room cabinet. Even now I still feel so guilty about the fact she had been in so much pain for weeks and I didnt even know! We have another male Beardie now called Benson who I adore but nothing can ever replace my darling girl Chloe! What I am trying to say is that you were doing the best for your dog and you saved her from a lot of pain!
RE: dealing with guilt
You were strong for her and I believe that you did the RIGHT thing.A 13 month old puppy wouldn't want to sit and lye down for months and months while she is supposed to be growing and playing with friends.
Sleep well Abbey and go get 'em in doggy heaven x x x x x
Create an ever lasting memorial for your loved ones.
Start here »
