why would you leave us?

Sweetheart, i could have helped. I wouldve helped~ you know that. I am trying so hard to be strong, but i need you. I dont understand why you would leave us? I still loved you~ i just needed a bit of time~ thats all. And now i have all the time in the world. I was giving you time to focus on yourself~ i was planning to call you in two more days. Thats it two days. I hate to think of the pain you were in~ i wish i couldve held you one more time. Looked into your eyes and said i love you. I am missing you so much~ how could things go so wrong so quickly? My daughter still asks for you and everynight she says good night sweet dreams to you. She has chicken pox right now and you should be here~ helping her and loving her in the way you always did. I dont no whether we wouldve worked out, but i no if we didnt we still would have always been there for each other and little monkey. We were best friends and love like that always survives. I am sorry if i diappointed you, im sorry if i let you down. You are the kindess person i have ever known. You shouldve got better~ this world is a very scary place without you. Thank you for your love. You told me not to let anyone blame me~ you didnt tell me what to do if i blame myself? What do i do love? Im lost without your guidence. I will never ever stop loving you, but i will never understand suicide. Xxxxxxx

Freya Jones

January 24, 2011