Hi
My husband had chest pain and went to doc and was told it was muscular and was sent home with painkillers. A few days later (July 7th)we found him in bed dead, he had died of a blocked artery in his heart and he was only 46. Im going through many emotions, fear, anger, guilt. But most of all lonleyness. We had been together since I was 14, he wasnt insured, Im not entitled to widows benefits or bereavement allowances of any kind and im left to survive on £64 a week benefit. I keep thinking if i had him bye my side I could cope with this.
Its silly but I cant even eat any of the foods that he ate in the days before he died. I havent even come to terms with the fact that he is gone yet.
How do you get to grip with a death in someone so young and so sudden. Ive lived most of my life with him bye my side and now that half of me is gone. It just seems so cruel as he was such a nice man
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RE: Sudden and unexpected death
my name is georgina i am so very sorry to here ov your loss although it is hard you need to get things straight talk to the doctor who saw him make sure he was treated properly take sumone with you remain calm hold on to your good memories visit his resting place and talk to him keep a memories box go were you use to go although pinful it will keep many things alive you must keep your strength you must fel at your worst but your not on your own in this you will be intitled to more money go to the citizons advice bruroe dont give up talk to us here anytime
RE: Sudden and unexpected death
you mustnt let this take hold ov you although you will always love your partner and miss him deeply you have got to take control before griefe takes hold ov you a counciler would be a very good idea that really helped me and so many others i no please remember your partner is up there in gods care he can see you watch over you talk to him when you get the chance tell him about your day keep up photos im the house ov ood times ones you can turn and talk to keep busy that helps your mind and stops depression join clubs maybe stay with a family member get hobbies you have got to meet new people so push yourself.xx
RE: Sudden and unexpected death
Thanks Georgina
I am going to go for counselling as I really do have to get my head straight,I cannot bear feeling the way I do, not even being able to think straight. Im just lost at the moment and im normally such a level headed person whom people normally come to for advice. I just couldnt deal witth his doctor at the moment but do plan to. I have a box that I have put photos that are personal to us in and all the little things of his that mean something to us. I also put all the sympathy cards in there too so I can read them at a later date as to be honest I dont remember a lot in the weeks following his death, that was just a rollercoaster of organising things.
I am keeping myself busy as I threw out our bedroom furniture and im redecorating our room, although its difficult its given me focus and I couldnt go in there with it the way it was. One thing I can say that has got me this far is the kindness of friends and neighbours which has amazed me. Although not many of them can truly understand how this feels I wouldnt have got to where I am without them.
RE: Sudden and unexpected death
Catherine my thoughts are with you totally. I lost my husband suddenly and tragically by midnight we was all in bed by one twenty in morning my house had burnt down and he was gone it was so fast. We had also been together since 14 years of age he was only 38 when he passed away. This happened in february 07. I wont lie to you you have a very long emotional rollercoaster ahead however the close support of friends and family is what is helping me day by day. Some days i have ok days others it just hits me like a truck all those emotions you are feeling are normal feelings of grieving and remember there is no right lenght of time to grieve and as painful as grieving is you need to go through all these emotions to help you come out stronger at the other end. Feel free to write me at anytime. My hubby name is ronald freeman if you want to see bit more of my story and see how i am very much understanding your pain. xxx
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