Its been 5 months-evrey day is a challenge for me.At first all i ever did was think about my Johnathan,my brain didnt switch off...and then all i could think about was death...and now all i think about is my own death.I dont want to die,but more than that i dont,cant live a life without him.I really feel like im going insane-nothing seems real to me anymore!
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RE: Insanity a form of self preservation?
it has been 9 months for me love and it still seems like yesterday-i am in the same place darlin as you---when i get there-wherever there will be -i will let you know-life is so cruel at times-but for my baby son of 1 year i have too try to hold on tightly even though i wish god would call me home-my love goes out too you and i pray that god can help you-sometimes when i pray i would feel this all over heat and i know god and my son are with me-i saw my son today beside me not head on but i felt his presents-i saw his hoodie that he was wearing the day he hung himself-but every time i turned around he disapeared--so i told him i knew he was there and that i loved him so very much-you probily think im going crazy-maybe i am -but it was such a real feeling and i swear i saw -but many would say my mind was playing tricks on me---i love and miss him so very very much-i dont think i will ever truely accept that he is gone ---anyway darling my thoughts and prayers to god above that he helps us all and holds our loved ones tightly in his arms-until we get there-until god calls us home
RE: Insanity a form of self preservation?
hi samantha
i can relate exactly to what u r saying..it has been almost 4 months since i lot the dearest thing in my life and i am literally plodding thru life waiting to join mark a s a p
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