I lost my beloved husband Darren,October last year,and the pain of losing him is getting worse,I feel all I want is to be with him,but how can i feel so selfish for feeling like this when i have 3 children,Darren asked me to make him 2 promises,1 to stop smoking,which i did promise and the other not to do anything silly,which i said that i couldnt promise him that,cos he knew i was weak,which i know i am,I feel so alone,WHY did he have to leave me,we were suppose to grow old together,I feel so empty inside,he held every thing together now its all falling apart,what am i to do,I feel lost,as my world has come crashing down,I know things will never be the same again,thats what hurts,I love and miss him so much,what am i going to do without him,people say it gets easier but to me im getting worse,I dont want to stop grieving,cos i feel if i do I will be thinking did I love him enough,and believe me I adored him ,i still adore him,i now it might sound silly,but thats my way of thinking,and I cant help what I think and the way i feel,I NEED HELP
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RE: I feel terrible
youve been thru so much hun, it doesnt sound silly 2 me the way your feeling, try and stay strong 4 your children, lots ov love- louise xxxxx
RE: I feel terrible
it dosen,t sound silly at all honey,i feel exactly the same as you do,and your right,it does get harder and harder,i cant imagine my life without my jamie it dosen,t feel like you are living a life,it seems like your only existing,but imagine how your children would feel if anything happened to you honey ? i wouldn,t want my children going through the pain i am feeling at the moment,and i dont think you would want that for yours either xxxxxx take care honey love to you all xxxxxxxxx
RE: I feel terrible
It dont sound silly at all hun...I lost my Grant in May 2005, but to me it feels like it was yesterday. Like you we were ment to grow old together, but that was taken from me and i dont know why???? I love my Grant more today than the day his life got taken from him. How can this be? I ask myself but that i can not answer. What i do know is that you learn to put on a brave face for the sake of others, when what you really want is to be with the one you love. What we forget is that others around you want you to be with them because they love you, and leaving them is only putting them in the place we are now, and i wouldnt want to put anyone there. Its true what they say tho, that you have to hit rock bottom ,once there the only way for you to go is up. No one prepairs you for the loss of the one you love. Some may know its going to happen but when it does happen its the emotions that you have no control over that take over. Gaining back that control is what you want but no matter how hard you try it dont happen.All you want is to have what you had back. You do learn to live with the pain that pain dont go away. You got your kids they to feel your pain by easing there pain will help you ease yours. It aint easy coping with it all but trying to help others also helps you hun.
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