well its now nearly 23 weeks since i lost my darling bill. i still go through so many different emotions every day. ive had a terrible day at work today getting upset for no apparent reason. i then realised what it was. i allowed myself yesterday to treat my self. i had a manicure and pedicure and my hair done and also had a lovely lunch with my mam and sister because of this i actually felt guilty today. i still feel guilty sometimes going food shopping. i know this may sound silly to some people but i cant help how i feel. its as though i think because my darling bill cant go to the shops i shouldnt be able to. does anyone else have these feelings? sometimes i feel so angry i actally scream. i know my bill would want me to carry on and enjoy life for the both of us but it is so hard x
RE: feeling guilty
Ahh bless you Jayne. But you said it yourself, Bill would want you to carry on and enjoy things. It is very hard but try not to feel guilty. I think many of us on here understand exactly how you feel though. Your Bill is probably up there now shaking his head and saying oh my darling Jayne, what AM I going to do with you! I hope he will visit you in your dreams and give you the reassurance you need to go forward more peacefully. And he'd probably tell you to book another manicure/pedicure too wouldn't he?
Lots of love Sue x
RE: feeling guilty
jayne dont feel guilty it dont mean you love bill any less when he looks at you in your sleep tonight hope he likes your hair xxx take care x
RE: feeling guilty
hi june hope your feeling a lot better today im sure bill would have loved your hair when he came into your room during nite to give you a good nite kiss and tell you he loves you now stop feeling guilty as bill wont want you feeling that way love from christine xxxxxxx
RE: feeling guilty
HI JUNE, HOPE YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND LOOKED AT YOUR NAILS N HAIR N SMILED, BECAUSE YOU SHOULDENT FEEL GUILTY FOR ANYTHING YOU DO- YOUR BILL LOVES IT AND HE LOVES YOU.
DONT FEEL GUILTY LOVE N IT DOES NOT SOUND SILLY 2 ME AT ALL, HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY 2DAY. X X X X X X BIG HUG 4 U 2! LOVE LOUISE. X X X
RE: feeling guilty
thanks everybody bill used to always joke on when i got my hair cut by saying i thought you were getting your hair done today, but i know he noticed every thing i had done. so i had a little chuckle and it cheered me up. i just wish he was still here. thanks again xxx
RE: feeling guilty
Jayne, I felt this way. I didn't eat for a week, as I felt guilty with every bite, as he wasn't here to enjoy eating. I remember going into a clothes shop and nearly having a panic attack, as the guilt was overwhelming. I found it hard to leave the house for a long time and even then my mum had to be with me!
xx
RE: feeling guilty
hi jayne, am so sorry for your loss. i lost my partner 13months and a week and a half ago (not that i am counting). About 2weeks after fritz passed i was promoted at work and i was smiling and then when i got home i burst into tears as i felt so guilty for being happy, its normal to feel guilty and if you had said what i am about to say to me last year i probably would have walked away. the guilt does ease, it never goes away (well not for me yet) but it does ease and so long as you know that he would have been happy for you then its okay. they may not be here in body but they are here in our hearts, don't let guilt get to you too much xxx
RE: feeling guilty
Hi Jayne,
Its been 8 half years since i lost my husband and at the age of 30...my god I was a Widow.
Time is a great healer...it gets different..not easier...but different!!
My husband was killed in Sierra Leone in the Army...and I felt guilty if I bought something new or had my hair done too.
Our daughter was 8 weeks old at the time...and I hated everything and everyone.
But that happenes to everyone who loses a loved one....life goes on...yet we are all left without them.
People grieve in diff ways and each to their own I say.
Mine was going on holiday....just to get away from the normal day to day crap you have to deal with.
And no one knew me on holiday.
remember live each day,smile of the memories you have..no one can ever take them away xxxxx
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