I had my perfect little man on the 9th of oct 2012 he was perfect he smiled all the time and made life perfect if i was tired after being up all night with his big sister or worn out from running around after his two brothers and sister he made my evenings something to look forward to i never moaned about night feeds because i loved his little face smiling at me when i gave him his bottle and his warm cuddles or when he didnt want to sleep and wanted to play he never winged he always smiled with a cheekey grin i only had 6 months with him and then one day he was gone i went to wake him from his nap and he was blue and cold the doc said that when i picked him up it started him breathing again he was rushed to great ormans street and was on life support they tried every thing but my little mans brain had died he put up such a fight when his face showed he was so tired and we had to turn the life support off it was the hardest day of my life i cant understand why. It hurts so much every day i want him back he was a amazing little boy and never did any harm to anyone so y did he have to go i visted him every day at the funeral parlor and had cuddles and i still dnt think i have excepted his gone his funeral was on wed 9 23/05/2012 but i still cant accept hes gone i have bad nightmares and i wake up crying i hate sleeping because it means waking up and re living every day i feels so numb.
RE: why cant i have my baby boy back
Emma, my circumstances are very different to yours but I too miss my son and even after more than 2 years I still cant fully accept what has happened. Its a tough road that we are on but you are not alone, others feel your pain too.
Be gentle with yourself, dont expect too much too soon. Take all the time you need. Sue x
RE: why cant i have my baby boy back
Hi, I lost my baby boy in 2007, it makes no sense and is all wrong. It is devastating and something we have to live with, partly because we have no choice and partly because others rely on us. It is a slow process, and will always hurt, but we have to focus on what we have, and realise that there are no answers to chase. I wish you peace. xxxx My son is Alexander Ferretto, I dont get to say that often. xx
RE: why cant i have my baby boy back
Aww i just want to give you a big hug sweetie. My son Oliver was born 13 weeks early on dec 3rd 2011 and he sadly passed away on jan 10th 2012 aged 39 days. We held his little funeral on 25th jan and i still cant believe hes gone. Life isn't fair at all sometimes. I visited him everyday and I cant accept that i'll never see him or hold him again. I know that no words will make you feel better as losing your little man will be still so raw but i want you to know that i'm thinking of you at your difficult time. Lots of hugs and love to you sweetie xxxx
RE: why cant i have my baby boy back
Emma, I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your little man, you have gained an angel he will be looking down on you hun ..I lost two babies and a adult child the pain never leaves you and people say it gets easier no chance the love we have for them keeps them in our hearts minds loved from day we held them , I am here if you ever need to chat hun, blessingsxx
RE: why cant i have my baby boy back
I've just read ur post about ur wee boy. My wee boy died last August at 4 weeks 5 days in sort of the same circumstances. He had stopped breathing but when at hospital they started his heart but cos of been starved from oxygen leaving him brain dead he couldn't breath on his own. My wee boy died in my arms 2 days after we got him to hospital. It's so hard isn't it? I've never came across anyone else with the same kind of story. I hope you don't mind me messaging you.
Lauren x
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