i lost my baby boy Harry 6 weeks ago and want to have another baby as soon as possible. it is not to replace Harry because it never would! i think if i leave it too long then im worried i would be too scared it will happen again.
im not rushing into it because i want a baby so so bad
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RE: trying for a baby after losing my baby boy @ 21 weeks?
Hilary,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby at 23 weeks and this was 3 1/2 years ago. I miss him every single day and the first year was the hardest. I was numb and miserable for an entire year after losing him. I didn't want to speak to people and I certainly didn't want to be alive. I could not have contemplated having another child (As I felt that another child would be a replacement for Stephen) and it has only been in the last few months that I have begun to seriously think about having another child. My partner and I are getting married and I think I may be finally ready to face the things I missed out on with Stephen (nappies, feeding, growing, teaching, playing etc.). It is such a huge decision to make, and my knowledge of the grief cycle says it takes at least a year to mourn fully for a loved one. You must go through the emotions to come out healthy on the other side. Do you know what I mean?
Emotions like denial, anger, sadness, depression, and understanding / forgiveness need to happen within your body and mind. For mental stability, a human NEEDS to express these emotions in some way, otherwise you are more likely to have some sort of breakdown in years to come.
As Carl and Joanne have said to you previously, you must give yourself time. Really think about your reasons behind having another child so quickly, and remember that there will be days when you just want to lie down and cry. Some when you want to curl up under a rock and die. Others when you want to scream at every woman you see that has a baby. I wish you all the best, Mellisa xx
RE: trying for a baby after losing my baby boy @ 21 weeks?
Hello,
Good luck to all of you, it is hard to get your head round things when you have been through trauma and tragedy. Life is unpredictable, " everyday is a gift that 's why it is called the present". I would say leave it to nature, don't think too much about it and whatever will be will be. One of my friends lost her only son who was 6 last July, she found out in January that she was expecting a baby, all is going well and that's what is keeping her going. She doesn't know whether it will be a boy or a girl, the baby is not a replacement of the child lost. It will be strange to give birth almost on the same day she lost a child. I have other friends who lost children and who have found happiness but will never forget their angels.Will keep you posted when I return form holiday in August. Keep strong, we have guardian angels watching over us and helping us survive no matter what.
God bless
SKarim's mum
RE: trying for a baby after losing my baby boy @ 21 weeks?
thats the same as me my little boy ashton is 19months i dnt want a big gap! thanx 4 all your replies appricate it xx
RE: trying for a baby after losing my baby boy @ 21 weeks?
Dear Hillery my daughter went to 27 weeks and lost a little boy,she went in for another baby right away and she now has a beautifull little girl who is in perfect health,so go ahead darling,hope all goes well for you,p.s. we havent forgotten our baby Taylor bless him.lol xxxx
RE: trying for a baby after losing my baby boy @ 21 weeks?
im so sorry to hear about harry, i lost cayden-jake at 30 week pregnant, and i was terrified of getting pregnant so soon after , i lost him may 06 , im now nearley 35 week pregnant now but ive been terrified of losin this1 from the day gettin pregnant and i waited 2 years , mine is not to replace cayden either but i didnt feel ready to love another child so soon also the consultant i had advised me to wait 6 month before gettin pregnant again as it took that for my body to go back to normal after a stillbirth child
all the best on what you decide to do luv stacey xxxxx
RE: trying for a baby after losing my baby boy @ 21 weeks?
thanx guys i am wondering tho! my little harry died due to the cord round his neck 3 times what are the chances of it happening again?
RE: trying for a baby after losing my baby boy @ 21 weeks?
Hi Hilary,
I lost my baby boy Noah 6 months ago, he had the chord wrapped round his neck,tightly twice,i was 39 weeks pregnant and had gone into labour,only through the routine check did they realise he had died,he was moving when i went to bed at 1am and i went into labour at 4.30,so sometime in them few hours he got tangled up and died,i wanted to try again quite soon after and i spoke to my midwife and she said that the chances of something like that happenig again are minimalist,they will keep an eye on you more next time. I know it will be hard not to worry but believe me i know that we need to relax and let nature take it's course,it will only happen when our bodies are ready for it,i know that it can't be soon enough for us but it's our bodies way of getting us through a tough time before going through another pregnancy.
Fingers crossed for you x
RE: trying for a baby after losing my baby boy @ 21 weeks?
Hi Hilary,
My wife and I lost our daughter in October 1999 and we went straight in to trying again for another child. My wife said exactly the same as you have. It's not to replace the child you have lost but you feel the longer you leave it the harder and more worrying it will become. Just to let you know you are not alone in feeling like that. Through personal experience, I would say that is quite common to feel that way. A few of our friends who have suffered the loss of a child have also expressed they too have tried again straight away for the very same reasons. If you ever want to talk about anything, please do not hesitate to contact either myself or my wife. We would be willing to help you in any way we can. Much love and respect to you.
RE: trying for a baby after losing my baby boy @ 21 weeks?
Hi Hilary, you already have a son so obviously that pregnancy went without problems. You're bound to feel very anxious next time round but unfortunately if you want another baby you're going to have to go through that. Speak to a doctor or midwife about you're concerns, they might be able to reassure you and offer to keep a closer eye on you next time. I wish you lots of luck, let us know how you get on xxx
RE: trying for a baby after losing my baby boy @ 21 weeks?
Hi Hilary just thought of something else that might help you. Since loosing Charlie a few people I know have told me that they too lost babies, I never knew as it's not something people talk about. They too already had one child and lost their second. They went on to have another child and now look at that child realising they wouldn't be here had they not had a miscarriage. So I guess you have to see that something positive can come from something so awful. These children are all grown up now leading their own lives and they wouldn't be here if their mums hadn't lost their big brothers/sisters. Just thought that might help you a bit. Take care and make your own decision in your own time, there's no rush xxx
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