Dear gts friends I'm looking fro some advice my friends little boy was stillborn on the 30/09/10 as time goes on its hard to know what to say and what not to say his name was Riley Day he was such a sweetheart I saw his mum recently and she's not the person I know she says she's fine and gets on with things but I know her and she's not right ey say time heals but I'm a little concerned as she doesn't let anything out she has done wonders to protect his memory she spends lots of time at his graveside is this a grieving process even now ? I just need someone to tell me how I should deal with things like talking about Riley and just how to be there for her when she needs it most advice from anyone would be appreciated
Many thanks xxx
RE: The loss of Riley day xx
Dear gary its very nice of you to be there for your friend its so hard to lose a child at any age or at any stage of pregnancy my only advice would be just be there if she needs to talk or cry for her baby and dont ever think she should be over it by now thats a mistake a lot of friends and family think i know i have had that myself my daughter got killed in a horrific car crash in 2009 by a drunk driver and people think i should be like i was before it happened by now but its not something you ever really come to terms with and i still cry daily for my child and will till i am reunited with her and i dont worry what others think i know what i feel and i am sure your friend will grieve every day too but as long as you can give comfort to her i am sure it will help her to move on a little bit every day just let her know you understand how she feels and no matter how long it takes you will still be there for her hope this helps you a little sending love and hugs to you all and may her baby R.I.P. FRANCES XXX
RE: The loss of Riley day xx
Hello Gary,
Time means nothing to us mum's, day, night, winter, summer it's just a process to get us from A to B. We go through the motion's and cling to anything that may help us cope with the life we've been given. When we use the phrase ''yeah I'm ok'' what it really means is I'm still breathing, but our heart screams in an unimaginable pain.
I cry when people speak of Dan, it make's my heart hurt....but when people miss her out in conversation it hurt's more. You have to follow her lead, but always let her know that you care, always let her know that she can forever count on you....always make time for her.
Just be prepared to be pushed away, to be avoided and sometimes maybe shouted at, we mum's can become hysterical at the drop of an hat. But please most importantly you need to accept that your friend we never fully recover, move on or get over it....not ever.
Your friend is very lucky to have you.....and bless baby Riley.
RE: The loss of Riley day xx
hi gary
it will be fine just let her deal with things in her way thats we find best to do you know kate if she want to be left to it then thats whats best she knows everyones there for her when she needs it Riley is her world and she loves that little boy so much what we find best is when we are with her we always talk about riley because thats what she likes to always have him in conversation and always close in thoughts i agree with everything julie says make time for her and let her know she has got everyone to count on when she needs it xx
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