I'm not sure that I have the strength or will to keep going through life without my special boy but I know that I have to keep going for my other children. Each day passes and each day I cry and ask for the strength to carry on. I feel like a robot doing what I have to do because there is no choice but to carry on and it is like torture. I'm terrified for Christmas coming because I don't know how to cope. I cannot imagine managing to live another50-60 years with this pain. It feels like I am stuck in a nightmare and can't get out. I know that people say you learn to cope but I can't imagine how and don't want to cope I just want my wee boy back.
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RE: Life seems so long to face without him.
Hi Angela,
I am so sorry for your loss, You are not alone with your feelings we have all felt like this and still do but the people you have spoke to are right you do learn to cope with them, I don't know how it just happens. It has been just over seven years since I lost Jelly Bean and I still have days where getting out of bed is a challenge but I do it coz I have to, Other days I find myself following the routine without even thinking about it. Not a day passes where I don't think of JB and speak to her.
There are some amazing people on here hunny and we can all listen to you and help you as much as we can, together us angel mummy's get through.
Louise. xxx
RE: Life seems so long to face without him.
I know exactly how you feel. Life now feels like a prison sentance. It's been four months today since I lost my son.
RE: Life seems so long to face without him.
i to know how you feel, they say time is a great healer sorry but its just not true i miss my son more and more everyday what i would give for just 1 more hug from him it hurts so much.u do learn to cope but thats about all its so hard take care xxxxxxxx
RE: Life seems so long to face without him.
Hi Angela
I also know how you feel I lost my son Jordan 2 years ago in March and i to have been told that it will get easier but at the moment i am finding each day harder and harder without him.I also have 2 other children so know i must carry on for their sake but it is so hard.I really hope that in time it will get a little bit easier.
Thinking of you and your angel
Julie x
RE: Life seems so long to face without him.
Hi Angela
I'm so sorry for the loss of your son.
It's been 18 months since the loss of my son, like you the pain is really hard to deal with. I have a younger son who really has lost not only his big brother but the mum he was used to, so I have to go through the pretense that I'm fine and can manage, but it is all lies. We have to keep going for the others and it is the most hardest thing we do. Most days I don't want to wake up and feel this pain anymore, but your right we don't have any choice.
Look after yourself and take care. Thinking of you all.
Love Louise x
RE: Life seems so long to face without him.
hi soz for your loss, it is so hard but you will learn to live with the pain . i lost my son 11months a go some day i cant go on but you do sending you a big hug give your self time xx
RE: Life seems so long to face without him.
I'm so sorry for your loss Angela, sending lots of love and hugs to you and your angel xxx
RE: Life seems so long to face without him.
so sorry 4 your loss my son died four years ago i cried every day for a year it does not get easier i just closed off part of my heart i keep going for my 2 daughters and try not to let them see the pain i am in they are my only reason to go on. people expect you to get over it but you cannot you just have to try to carry on with a big whole in your life where your child should be. i wish you well try to be strong it takes a long time, big hug to youxx
RE: Life seems so long to face without him.
Thanks everyone, I'm so sorry for your losses also. I guess the harsh reality is that no one can change what has happened and we have no choice but to live through the pain of each day and night until we can be with our children again.
RE: Life seems so long to face without him.
I'm with you there. I don't know how I will get through one more months let alone years. My 15yo son Ian died in June after 6 months fighting acute myeloid leukemia. He is my ONLY child. I really don't know why I'm still here on earth. What could possibly be my purpose now, except to suffer. Does god just want me to feel this pain until I can't stand it anymore and take a bunch of meds? I have no other children to live for! Every night I pray, demand, take me now! Every morning I wake up and remember my reason for living is gone. Sorry I can't help you, I can't help myself. I can only empathize.
Sharon, proud mom of Ian Means
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