I use to be such a happy go lucky person,now im just painfully sad,eyes red and sore form a year full of tears.My smiles have turned to stone,i barely socialise,i pretend im listening to people,when im really not interested at all,and my nights are filled with tossing and turning trying to shut out the dreams that will make me so emotional the next day.U see,my dad was my life,and i lost him a yr ago on the 1st july 09,i cant move on and i dont want to either,cos if i do,im worried i will forget him.I was dads angel,throughout his battle with cancer i never left his side.The memories i have are such painful ones of him being so ill,as everyday that passed i watched a little more of his life bein taken away from him,i could do no more than watch.He was told on 27th june last yr,to go home and be as comfortable as possible and if he felt better in a few weeks,he could start paliative chemotherapy,but instead my dad came home,and decided quietley in his own mind to give up fighting,and he died 3 days later.Those last few days i re live over and over and over again,day in day out.I cant bare not seeing him,hearing his voice,getting one of those great big hugs that makes the days worries dissapear in an instance.Im not who i use to be,i feel like my family have lost the best part of me,and it doesn`t matter how hard i try,i no i can never be happy truely again.I have no mum,she died 16 yrs ago on 5th july when i was 19.im married with children,and i feel guilty that there not enough to make me feel complete,the best part of me died when dad died and i feel broken in two.
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RE: The best part of me died with my dad
i lost my dad 15-6-09. i am so heart broken. my dad was a wonderful man. all i can say is there are a lot of good people out there as this site has shown. i am on a waiting list for bereavement councelling and hope it can help me come to terms with this devastating loss. my dad had a brain tumour. he didn't suffer pain what he did suffer was frustration. my dad was only 67. he had just had his birthday on the 5th may. i'm sending you a BIG HUG x
RE: The best part of me died with my dad
so sorry for your loss.
you will never forget your dad hun,
my dad was my hero too,he left us 27/06/05 11 weeks after my mam passed.
it does get easier with time as now i get tears from thinking of the happy times i had with my dad. when i need a hug i get his old jumper,have a quick sniff and imagine how happy and pain free he now is (its what keeps me going)
just remember how blessed you are to of had such a great dad.
take care hun
jayne x
RE: The best part of me died with my dad
just reading ur story takes me back to the 1st year my father died.ur story is so like mine i was daddys wee angel the spoilt one and i never heard a cross word from him to me. like ur da my dad died also with cancer wide spread lung cancer, and from him taking sick o going to hospital 3 weks later he died. it felt like the world had ended, i couldnt sleep eat even look after my children i lost 2 stone of weight and started panic attacks it all seemed as if i would be joining him very soon. my heart goes out to u because u are still going thro the raw emotions and they are the worst times ever, but as much as i dont want tisto sound like a cliche, i promie u it gets better, it hurts less and slowly but surely u will be able to laugh along with people without feeling guilty, of course u will never forget him hes ur dad but there wil come a time when ur able to think of him and not feel that empty sick lonely aching feeling.
please please just tak one day at a time and i hope that soon u can see out and see sunshine and cheer and be happy and get on with life like im so sure ur daddy would of wanted u to do,
my thoughts wil be with u xxxxx
RE: The best part of me died with my dad
i lost my dad on 4th jan 2009 theres not a day goes by when i dont think of him i wish id told him how much he meant to me but now its too late and now i have to live with feeling guilt
RE: The best part of me died with my dad
hi i know excately what your going through i lost my dad 17 june 09 he was my life i sit up at his grave day after day just talking to him . i feel like i cant move forward with my life as it hurts to much .people keep saying time is a healer well we will just have to see .god bless you .
RE: The best part of me died with my dad
AWEEEEE HUN SENDING YA A BIG HUG (((((♥)))))).
DADS NEVER LEAVE THERE LITTLE PRINCESSES ,TRUST ME ITS HARD BUT THERE ALWAYS WITH US ,ALWAYS ..
YA NEVER GET OVER IT ,BUT IN TIME YAL LEARN TO ADJUST TO THE AWFUL SITUATION .
MY ♥DAD♥ WAS MY LIFE AND SOUL TOO . MY SO CALLED MOTHER LEFT HOME THE DAY B 4 MY 1ST B,DAY AND TO THIS DAY 37 YEARS LATER AVE NEVER HAD A BIRTHDAY CARD OR OWT ..
MY ♥DAD♥ NEVER CALLED HER I DID !!* PMPL
BUT ♥DAD♥ JUST CARRIED ON ,I KNOW WHERE EVERY I AM HES THERE WITH ME LIKE YOUR ♥DAD♥ IS TOO HUN ..
WHEN YA GET A FEELING LIKE SOMEONES WATCHING YA OR THE DOOR BLOWS ETC.. THATS THEM SAYING HI AM STILL HEAR YA KNOW ..
BET ITS HAPPENED TO YA LOADS YA ♥DADS♥ SONGS ETC.. COME TO MIND FOR NO OVBVIOUS REASON EH?
TOLD YA THATS THEM ..
IVE DONE A TRIBUTE IN MY GARDEN FOR MI ♥DAD♥ I HAVE A PLAQUE AND LITE CANDLES ,OR JUST SIT AND NATTER WITH HIM AND PUT THE WORLD TO RIGHTS ETC..
ITS JUST MY WAY OF COPING BUT I KNOW HES ALWAYS WITH ME HUN AND SO IS YA ♥DAD♥ .
I CAN PICTURE THEM TOGETHER HAVING A FEW BEERS IN GODS FREE BEER GARDEN ,LAUGHING AT US DAFT SODS EH?
THE TEARS THE TANTRUMS ETC.. EH HUN ?PMPL
TAKE CARE AND KNOW THAT WHERE EVER YA ARE SO TRUELY IS YA ♥DAD♥ LOVE RACH X♥X♥
RE: The best part of me died with my dad
Hello Lisa,ive recently joined this site and was reading some of the posts when i came across yours.I nursed both my parents,mum has severe parkinsons,then,dad got diagnosed with lung cancer november08,i didnt tell my dad he was dying as he would have worried about my mum,when i gave him his morphine he would say whats this medicine and i would reply this is a special medicine to make you better,i watched a big healthy man end up looking like a skeleton,i lost my dear dad in march last year,the hardest thing was telling my mum that god had taken dad home,a month after dad died mum ended up in a nursing home as she could hardly walk,i feel so alone and guilty about mum being in a nursing home,i cry most days,feel down most days and am not as bubbly as i use to be,so i know how your feeling,but they reckon time heals and seeing the people who have died on this site and the heartache of those left behind makes me realise im not the only person with a broken heart,this is a journey nobody wants but i do believe that we will gt through it and will come to accept our loved one has gone and that one day we will meet up with them again,i hope ive been of help to you,please take care.love kathyxx
RE: The best part of me died with my dad
Hello Lisa,ive recently joined this site and was reading some of the posts when i came across yours.I nursed both my parents,mum has severe parkinsons,then,dad got diagnosed with lung cancer november08,i didnt tell my dad he was dying as he would have worried about my mum,when i gave him his morphine he would say whats this medicine and i would reply this is a special medicine to make you better,i watched a big healthy man end up looking like a skeleton,i lost my dear dad in march last year,the hardest thing was telling my mum that god had taken dad home,a month after dad died mum ended up in a nursing home as she could hardly walk,i feel so alone and guilty about mum being in a nursing home,i cry most days,feel down most days and am not as bubbly as i use to be,so i know how your feeling,but they reckon time heals and seeing the people who have died on this site and the heartache of those left behind makes me realise im not the only person with a broken heart,this is a journey nobody wants but i do believe that we will gt through it and will come to accept our loved one has gone and that one day we will meet up with them again,i hope ive been of help to you,please take care.love kathyxx
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