My name is maria and i am known to my family by my middle name! [long story!] to cut a long story short i had a sister called caroline we are a family of 5 kids and of course our parents,
I,ve gota brother trev who is older then there was my special sister caroline then me then sue and ray,oh and of course our half brother jamie.
We grew up together and yes we fought alot but sadly our lives were were full of frequent trips to the hospital trev with his ear,s you as a result of menigitis you developed a serious heart condition but the doc told mum he wouldn,t operate until you stopped growing,then theres me with alot of kidneys problem,s and sue and ray who are healthy,i can remember you being jealous of my scar and telling me,when i have my op i,ll have a much bigger scar!
I used to say when you,d get one over on me in our spats that "i wished you were dead",caz i never ever meant it and not a day goes by that i don,t think about you,i still blame myself for wishing you die,well i got what i wanted didn,t i? no matter what anyone say,s and no matter how many shrinks i see i can,t forgive myself for being so nasty,i know kids are cruel but it doesn,t make me feel any better.
you were in out of hospital due to your heart condition,this time thio dad was away when it happened on your birthyday you took ill we just shrugged it off you,d go in hospital for 2wks and be home again,but this time you didn,t come home,no matter how much i begged and pleaded with mum to let me say ngoodbye but still she dug her fee tand i was farmed out to our nans house,they creamated you on the 27th september dads birthday,you fell ill on your birthday [ the 15th sept] and died exactly one week later, despite all that i can,t let you go i can,t begin to say how hard your death has had on me,i just hope one day we,ll be together again and i can say i,m sorry sis i really did love you and i,m so very sorry for the pain i caused you.
RE: she,s been gone 34yrs this month why can,t i move on?
You cant move on because guilt wont let you.We have all said things we did not mean and regret saying but you have got to learn to forgive yourself,I'm sure your sister would have forgiven you.
Your sister knows you loved her but she was very ill and suffering and no amount of love could have kept her alive, her poor wee body had had enough so God took her for an Angel.
Your sister never left you she is still in your heart and memories.I'm so sorry for the hurt and guilt you have been carrying for so many years learn to forgive yourself and stop hating yourself for a childish remark.
RE: she,s been gone 34yrs this month why can,t i move on?
hi my name is georgina. you must.nt believe for one min that your sister doesnt no you didnt love her thats a kind ov love that always shines through you cannot punish yourself your sister would not want you to live your life under a cloud all families have there problems and fall outs that doesnt mean you didnt love herlife is very short and you get one chance at it you cant go on like this sweetheart you.v got to let go if you dont mind me saying i strongly advise counciin it really helped me to have a good talk and get everything out.you can talk to us here on gts anytime.god bless you.,georgina.xxx.
RE: she,s been gone 34yrs this month why can,t i move on?
hi my name is georgina. you must.nt believe for one min that your sister doesnt no you didnt love her thats a kind ov love that always shines through you cannot punish yourself your sister would not want you to live your life under a cloud all families have there problems and fall outs that doesnt mean you didnt love herlife is very short and you get one chance at it you cant go on like this sweetheart you.v got to let go if you dont mind me saying i strongly advise counciin it really helped me to have a good talk and get everything out.you can talk to us here on gts anytime.god bless you.,georgina.xxx.
RE: she,s been gone 34yrs this month why can,t i move on?
your sis will forgive you and wont blame you ,,, mine did xxxx
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