Im finding it so hard to come to terms with the fact that I will never get to see him again he passed away 9 weeks ago he was my big brother he was only 18 months older than me and we where inseprible and now I cant even think what his voice sounded like n that hurts more and all I feel is numb.
I cant cry, i just feel so angry all the time and everything is gettin to me even stuff that is really trivial. I am not looking 4ward to xmas at all as he wiz always the one that help wit the shopping n stuff so I ve not got nothin in..
I cant seem to talk to anyone about how i feel as i dont think they will understand n none ah ma so called friends have been near me since he passed away .. Its like I have the plague or something n its driving me insane, I dont want them to pitty me but I wouldna mind a hand with stuff now and again but they dont even phone to see how I am and that hurts me more..
WHy do I feel this way I just dont understand why I feel nothin at all!! N that is worrying me as I am scared to cry incase i dont stop..
Is this normal to feel this way??
RE: Coping with losing my brother
Hi Elizabeth,
Yes what your feeling is normal. I lost my brother nearly seven years ago, and I still struggle with it sometimes. Keep strong he will always be near you.
Nancy x
RE: Coping with losing my brother
Elizabeth,
I understand exactly how you are feeling right now, My twin brother died nearly 7 months ago. At first i felt the same that if i cried then i wouldnt be able to stop. but it does get easier. You need to allow yourself to cry and let it out. I did and i felt so much better for it. My brother took his own life and we will never know his reasons . He knows we love/ loved him and still do. As for your friends i must admit i had the same happen to me, and it can feel so lonely. Until i actually asked one of my friends why to which she told me that she didn't know what to say to me. Another said that if she spoke to me she'd end up crying for me and she didnt want to upset me. i find this site so very helpful as there are lots of lovely people who have experienced terrible loss like ourselves. Rest in the fact that he is up there looking after you and guiding you hunny. God Bless.
RE: Coping with losing my brother
hi im really sorry about your brother i lost mine 9 months ago and friends acted in the same way ,you will get stonger take care xxx
RE: Coping with losing my brother
I think the way you feel is normal since your loss is very recent. Sometimes it takes a while for everything to settle in and to allow yourself to grieve, and everyone deals with loss differently. Take care and all the best to you.
RE: Coping with losing my brother
Sorry to hear about your losses i lost my twin brother 3 years a go aged 22, Things have never really been the same since, I went through a number of emotions when my twin died been angry, crying all the time, feels like half of me died too. Christmas is the hardest part of year, I try and remember the good times and also that i had 22 great years with my twin. Everyone deals with grief differently. God bless to everyone and your familys. xx
RE: Coping with losing my brother
Dear Elizabeth
I'm so sorry for your loss. Brothers are very special, I know you're pain as I lost my younger brother David in June this year. I was angry, bitter, heartbroken, numb and felt that I didn't want to go on with this life. All these feelings are normal grieving emotions. Luckily I have some very good friends one who lost her husband a few years back so she knew the pain I was going through. Death is such a taboo subject for people who haven't experienced the loss of a loved one and sometimes It's hard for people to approach you as they don't know themselves what to do or say. Having said that I wish more people would be supportive and admit they don't know what to say. I cry still over my younger brother everyday but now I can control it a little better and talk about him and all the happy times. Each day does get a little bit easier to deal with. I take comfort from talking all the time about my brother as if he's still around. I've been to spiritualist churches and this has helped me enormously. I've also had counselling. My way of comfort may not be everyone's cup of tea but whatever you can take comfort from then do it. Death is such an awful thing for us to deal with so my heart goes out to youx Try and hang on in there, try and talk to friends and tell them exactly how you feel, cry as much as you want, it does help. Don't ever let anyone tell you how you should feel, go with your heart. I wish you healing over the years and send you strength to try and help you cope as I know how very tough it isxxxxxxxxx
RE: Coping with losing my brother
coping with losing brother
Hi elizabeth ilost my brother 2 years at Christmas he took his own life and i still can't take it in i still think he will walk back into my life but he won't
it will take a while but it will get better day by day
RE: Coping with losing my brother
hi i lost my big brother 19 years ago to cancer, and i still find it hard at times i still have a cry now and again, i think it helps i also go and talk to him and it might sound silly but i find if i need an answer i always find it once i have spoken to him, my friends were the same , it is still early days yet it will get better and you will remember him with a smile take care xx
RE: Coping with losing my brother
God be with you Elizabeth...I too have lost a big brother and not a day goes by that I don't think about him. He has been gone now for a few days shy of 5 months. I miss him so very much. Pray a lot and it will help. You will see him again. God Bless to you and yours, Ruth Rudolph
RE: Coping with losing my brother
I'm certain it's normal. I'm feeling the exact same thing after losing my big brother on the 18th. I've only cried once and that was at the funeral. It's not that I'm not sad because I am. I miss him so much. But I'm angry at the fact he's gone and I don't know how to deal with it. I just hope that for both of us and everyone that has lost someone, time will heal the scars and one day we will be able to be happy that we had our brothers, even if we have them no more. Take care xx
Connect to GoneTooSoon securely via facebook.
