My Daughter was 23 & alcohol & drug abusive. The State transferred custody of her 2 babies (6 wk & 15 mo olds) to me a yr ago. Last month she was found dead from an overdose of cocaine. My entire family & any friends are disgusted with my Daughter calling her a piece of crap kid & even worse mother so when she died I don't hurt any less than any Mom whose child died "dignified". I am all alone in my grieeving & I hurt SO bad. My Daughter was a lost soul but I LOVE her unconditionally. She was my 1st born baby & I had her 23 yrs watching her go down the drain the past 6 yrs. Raising her babies & seeing my baby in them every day is painful for my grieving. Just because she didn't die respected, doesn't mean her death hurts me less, it is killing me & there NO ONE that feels any compassion to help me talk about my horrible loss...
|
|
RE: Grieving ALL ALONE for my Daughter
It is really awful that people have to be that way. My brother in law passed away from an overdose in Oct. of 2007 and is the father of my two nephews. My sister has had a tough time, no one seems to be there for the kids becaus they feel that the kids are better off. I'm so sorry that you lost your daughter. regardless of the circumstances, no mother should ever have to feel that pain. You take good care of them grandbabies and watch them grow. They are a part of your daughter that you still have with you everyday.
RE: Grieving ALL ALONE for my Daughter
HELLO DONNA,
I'am so sorry for your loss, it doesn't matter how you lose someone ,it still hurts like mad , I think you should have loads of support you are bringing up your daughters babies on your own and grieving for your daughter at the same time , try and be strong for your grandbabies iam sure your daughter will be looking down on you and helping you as much as she can.hope things get a bit easier for you , the little babies will keep you going. sending you and your grandbabies and your angel my love take care love tracy xxxxxx
RE: Grieving ALL ALONE for my Daughter
Dear Donna.
Firstly im so sorry for the loss of your daughter.
Its such a shame for you & her children.
As for the family & your so called friends they obviously have know idea how you are feeling as they wouldnt do this to you.
Ive never lost a child but my mum has & ive seen what it has done to her, your daughter will be watching over you now & her babies.
Your daughter needed help & you gave her that Donna by taking care of those children for her, i know you were given custody of them by the courts but you still did your daughter a favour by taking them in & giving them the love they so deserve.
As for your family & friends.....i hope they never lose a child this way .
They should be supporting you right now not running your daughter to the ground.
Can you not tell them how you are feeling or maybe get some councilling.?
My heart goes out to you it realy does.
The people on this site support each other so when you are feeling down come on here & write all your feelings down....it helps in some ways.
It wont bring your lovely angel back but she will never be forgotton.
As for your daughters babies they are part of your daughter & they will want to know about there mummy at some point in there lives....so you have to be prepared to tell them all about there mum & how wonderful she was before she was ill.
I wish you luck Donna & try to talk to someone!
Godbless your angel, you & your daughters babies.
Takecare.
Love Carol.
xxxx
RE: Grieving ALL ALONE for my Daughter
Hello Dona,This is so sad ifeel for you and those dear babies,It was,nt your daughter,s fault its the time we live in ,she was,nt the first and she wont be the last.Some people have no hearts,try to be strong love ,My love to you and those dear babies also your Angel who is at peace now love.xxxx
RE: Grieving ALL ALONE for my Daughter
Donna, my thoughts are with you, your daughter and your precious grandchildren.
I am often annoyed by how judgemental people can be, but ignorance i a subject is to blame. Unfortunatly there are certain things in life we have no control over and drugs is one of them, as they take cotrol of the person, as i am no doubt you shall understand.
Dont let the hurt could your fond memories. xx
RE: Grieving ALL ALONE for my Daughter
Hi Donna,
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Your daughter may have been lost with the use of drugs, but she was still your precious daughter that deserves to be remembered and loved. As you raise her children, teach them all of the good things that you remember about their mommy so her memory can live on in the way that you want it to.
People that are so quick to voice their opinion (which isn't wanted or needed) need to take a long look at their own lives before opening their mouths. I hope that their judgements will silence so you can mourn the loss of your daughter without their hurtful remarks.
My thoughts are with you...
RE: Grieving ALL ALONE for my Daughter
Hi, i can understand how you feel, although we haven't had to deal with a death, my nephew is a drug addict and has spent the last year getting clean, my brother is so unsympathetic about it and calls him all the names under the sun. i watched my sister go through hell, he used to take her things and pawn them and she ended up in masses of debt because of it. You stand by your kids no matter what, there would have still been good in your daughter even though no one could see it at the time. I wish that my brother could be more understanding especially since he had to have a heart transplant at 40 and should be viewing the world differently as he's been given a second chance.
People are too quick to judge, drugs and alcohol are addictions, just like smoking is, unfortunately your daughter paid the ultimate price and left you to pick up the pieces, all you can do now is to ignore what has been said and tell your grandchildren all the good that their mum had in her.
I think it's very cruel what you are going through, you need support right now.
God bless and good luck to you xxx
RE: Grieving ALL ALONE for my Daughter
my thoughts and prayers are with you doll honestly its sometimes hard for others to walk in ur shoes they will never understand the pain of loss till it happens to them and each loss someone has is indevidual to them and how they feel ur daughter wasnt born bad life curmstance write her road ahead and for some its harder to deal with than others doesnt make them a bad person just not as strong as the so called ones who think their lives are not tainted they look hard enough they will find some lost soul amonst them just looking for some help and understanding keep ur chin up doll and enjoy and celebrate the fact that your daughter gave you buetifull grankids and thats an acheivemnet she wid have took pride in in her good days and never worry shes not ever to far from ur side sending u love
Create an ever lasting memorial for your loved ones.
Start here »
