My daughter had died to an accidental drowning about 2 1/2 yrs ago. She was just 2 yrs old. I have 2 other boys Andrew-6 and Dylan-4 (twin to my daughter Katelyn). Along with my husband, they are what keeps me going every day. Anyone have similar situations, please feel free to talk here. I hope I can find peace and comfort here as well as anyone else out there that have gone through similar circumstances. Looking forward to hearing your responses.
With love,
Deana-Katelyn's Mom
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RE: Drowning
hi deana,when my son was pulled from my sisters pond february 07 he wasnt breathing,my darling son Tyler's face when the neighbour was giving him mouth 2 mouth will haunt me forever,but lukily he pulled through that and was in hospital icu for 5 days then he went onto a ward for a further 3 days before being transferred to the hospital nearer to our house.We was told that he was doing great which we cud see for ourselves,we was so so happy but it didnt last long because within 24 hours of being transferred he died.We had no explanation or anyone talk to us about what happened to our son but all i can say for now is that when he was in the ambulance being transferred he had a second hypoxia (swelling of the brain).the nurse who was in the ambulance with me and Tyler didnt know what to do nor did the ambulance crew because they werent trained for it.its said that the second hypoxia was caused by the stress and sounds but i cant go into much detail.
My heart goes out to you and i too have felt great comfort on gone too soon xxxx
RE: Drowning
Thank you so much for responding. I am so sorry for your loss and what you went through. My daughter also died in a pond near our house. We live on a dead end road by some woods and we think she followed our dog into the woods that day. Katie generally stayed in the front yard and this was not usual for her. But, my husband had our dog outside playing with my boys at the time, which we didn't do much. Because our dog didn't stay in the yard. My husband was outside cleaning our boat and I was inside fixing supper. Me and Katie just got home from the store and I went in to make supper. I saw her playing with the dog just outside our front window. Not a few minutes later my husband came in and asked if she was inside and I said no. To make short story, we had looked for her all over. My brother in law came over just to stop by and he helped us. He was the one who found her lifeless body in a pond in the woods. Our dog had come out of the woods all wet. So, we figure that she had followed our dog. She never went out of the front yard. It seemed like an eternity for the ambulance to get there. It was the most horrible time in my life!!! I had just lost my dad 8 months before this, and also my grandma 6 months before. But, this was the most traumatic time in my life. CPR was performed by police, parmedics and firemen. We got to the hospital and had to hear those horrible words you don't ever want to hear. So, I completely understand how you feel as well. Please let's keep in touch. I hope this helps the both of us to heal.
With much love,
Deana
RE: Drowning
hi deana, sorry to hear,yes it is the most horriblist thing a parent can ever go through.They didnt even cum and tell me that Tyler had died,i ran into his room and found all the machines gone and my darling little boy lying in the bed peacefully.i found out later that he had died half an hour before,i was with him in the room 2 minutes before when they started chest impressions and they pushed me out and wudnt let me back in until it was too late.
sometimes i wounder how on earth we carry on,its just so hard isnt it?
I have so many nightmares,counsillors say they understand but if they havent gone through it then how can they.
my heart really does go out to you deana and yes lets keep in touch and hope it helps the pair of us,sending you my love xxxx
RE: Drowning
My heart is just breaking to hear about your story. I am so sorry you had to go through that!!! I agree about when people say they understand. You don't know until you go through it, really. I just wish didn't have to meet this way. I really would like to keep in touch on here just to keep us both sane. I have found by doing these websites help. I have 2 other ones that I have done. This one I just started on friday. I started a different one about a month ago. The first one, I did in June. A few days after Katie's 2 yr angelversary. Also, we started a memorial garden in our front yard. We have a yearly family/friend get together for her on or close to her angelversary. I try to also include her in things we do. Especially for the boys sakes. I don't want them to forget about her. Have you done anything like that?Well, please take care and I am thinking of you and your family. Talk soon.
With love,
Deana
RE: Drowning
hi Deana,i have Tyler at home with me in my bedroom,i got a thomas the tank wooden box made for him with his name on and brought a lovely cabinet and sat him on the second shelf,he has his thomas the tank engines and all the things that were special to him in there,there is a draw at the bottom where i have put his drawings,paintings and other things from school,i still have all his clothes hanging up in my bedroom and his little thomas bike what he had for christmas before the accident is sitting next to his cabinet,i still have all his toys,i still get him birthday cards,christmas cards and presents,talk to him every morning and night,on his birthdays and christmas we send balloons off,i dont have a garden yet because i have split up from Tylers dad and moved in with my mom but i do have a lovely little bench and Tylers name in tiles from spain which i will put on when me and the kids move out.I try to include Tyler i everything we do but sometimes its difficult,like when we went on holiday for a few days,i get scared incase someone steals him so he stopped at his dads house.I too dont want my kids to forget about Tyler we talk about him all the time and i tell them stories about what me and Tyler got up to everyday,my lads who are 13 and 14 and my daughter who is 7 laugh at my stories but it soon ends in tears and they say it hurts so much but they love me talking about Tyler.
i dont have get togethers or anything like that but i think its a lovely thing to do and it gets all the family together,
i do send my love to you all and maybe we will stay sane
love steph xx
RE: Drowning
Hello, Steph. Sounds like you have Tyler there with you everywhere. I still have Katelyn's clothes, some toys, but mostly pictures and clothes. Just can't get rid of her clothes. I am thinking about making a quilt with her clothes. I did that from my dad's clothes after he passed. Got it from a tv show. Turned out very nice. A friend helped me do it. Not much at sewing. I kept the dora silverware, plates, cups. Some of the stuff like big toys I gave to special people that needed it. Besides our house is so cluttered, and my boys wouldn't play with it or were too old for it. I really hate giving anything that she played with away, but if it is for someone that needed it, than it will be put to good use. Special things I definietly keep. I have many pics of her around the house and of course my scrapbooks. Haven't had the energy to finish hers, yet. It's still rough. I hope you are doing better today. Also, sending you much love and comfort today.
Love, Deana
RE: Drowning
hi deana,its still just so hard and plus with solicitors and barristers to fight with me for Tyler,things are just so so hard but i have to keep myself together for the sake of my other children.
hope you are well and i send you my love always xx
RE: Drowning
Hello, Steph. I can't imagine what you are going through with all the caos of everyone else trying to make things so difficult. I am very sorry that you have to deal with that. I feel so horrible that you are dealing with so much in your life. I hope you find some peace soon. I do know what you mean about keeping yourself together for your other children. I have to do the same. My husband doesn't understand how I can do all these memorials and talking to others and their nice comments. I just tell him I have to. I feel like I am spending time with Katelyn and doing something for her, too. I feel good about all this. And it allows to express their feelings as well. He just deals with his grief in his own way. Doesn't like to talk about it still, however has gotten alittle easier. Hope you find some comfort. Sending hugs and kisses to you,
Deana
RE: Drowning
hi deana,i know what you mean about being on here,i feel closer to Tyler when i talk on here too.
the solicitors and my barrister are helping me so much,its the clinical negligence that took my darling Tyler away from me in the end and i will fight my hardest to get these people to hopefully not put another child and family through what we have been through,the ambulance should have turned back round because we hadnt even got on the motorway when Tyler was taking a turn for the worst but they didnt and carried on,so Tyler went another hour before he got any medical attention and this is what caused the second swelling of his brain.I will never forgive these people.
Thankyou for talking to me on here it means so much to me,sending you my love,take care xxxx
RE: Drowning
I will be thinking of you always. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. I would do the same for my Katie if that was the situation, or my boys for that matter. You just never think that it's going to happen to you. Glad we feel the same way.
Hugs to you,
Deana
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