Best for my grand babies or my daughter?

Summer White,my 23 yr old daughter died from crack cocaine overdose. Age 15-18 I sent her to rehab twice. She dropped out of school 8th grade, abused alcohol & drugs, having sex, treated for VD/STD, running away for weeks, kicked in our doors & windows all hours of the night. Then she had a baby girl. Summer was very ill right after the birth of this 2 mo premature & hardly 4 lb, drug positive baby so I had the newborn 98% of the time. Summer got well then she had a 2nd baby girl, 1 month premature & positive for drugs. Hospital filed report to Child Protective Services, they did an investigation during which Summer was arrested for drinking in public once & stealing a car the 2nd time & went to prison for a year. The state gave me full custody when the babies were 7 wks old & 18 months old. Summer got out of prison & 3 months later called asking to see her children. The older child has developemental delays & was having 3 types of therapies a week, the younger seems to be developing age appropriate. EVERYONE warned not to allow contact between Summer & the older child because it might cause farther upset/set backs for this 2 yr old. So I let Summer visit the baby but explained the 2 yr old was in therapies & believed it would emotionally/psychologically harm her. (The 2 yr old would act out when she saw a picture or heard her name & still does). Summer had been out of prison 5 months when she saw the little baby. 1 month later, Summer was found dead in her apartment. Now I question if I should have let her see her older child before Summer died. What was best?

Donna Yerardi

August 7, 2009